A Tribute to Jack, Khoo Tian Leng

The Feeling That Was Lost

2011-06-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Life itself is like a cocoon.

It takes you a lot of "push" in life till you get beautiful results,

Problem is it all still comes to an end one day.

I heard of a sad news of which one of a guy from my high school passes away and he was only 20 years old. I probably seen him before but, however i don't remember him though. RIP to him as I know that he is a great guy through his friends testimonials. Anyways, though i did not know him, yet when i received the news, i felt shocked, stunned, and my heart felt heavy. This feeling, "Is familiar" i said to myself. I felt this way before. It hit me that it is the exact feeling and emotions that i felt 2 1/2 years back in 2007. It is the feeling of losing someone you know and probably, very close to you.

I had not felt this way for a very long time since the day my friend, Sarah and Jin Swan prayed for me. But receiving such sudden news and all the scenarios - the FB comments on the deceased page, the FB page and event set up for him. Somehow relates to what i had gone through. It reminded me of that nostalgic feeling again. It is definitely NOT a feel good thing. Even though as friends only, it affects much, especially if it is your dearest friend that you share your inside out or even your undies with.

Yes, it is hard to accept at first and the day of the unfortunate incident is definitely going to remind of what has happened and is considered "the day not to be talked about". That feeling is unexplainable, it is easier to feel than to define, easier to understand than to recognize that emotion. Being caught up in life's circle, you sometimes tend to forget it. However, as the years go by, no doubt it will be reminded subconsciously from time to time.

It is a good feeling as it reminded me of you.

You will take time to think back of the smiles you shared,

The sorrows you cried over,

The stupidity you laughed through,

The hard-work you sowed together,

One of the greatest person in your life that you once had.

Why is it that we do not think of all these before, but,

We only start to acknowledge them when they are, not here anymore.

Hsieh June

Remembering You ..

2010-07-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Happy Birthday

2010-01-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Tian Leng.

On 1st Feb 2010, you would have been 24 yrs old.

2009-04-07T09:20:00.001-07:00

With sorrow in my heart I share the sad news that Tien Leng's father is critically sick. He is suffering from terminal liver cancer. He has never really got over the death of Tien Leng.

My heart goes out to his mother who has suffered quietly and bore the sorrows. She is the pillar of strength in the family. I pray the sisters S. May and S. June will emerge out of the trials to be stronger and more resilient like fine gold heated through fire. I praise God that Tien Leng's father has accepted Jesus Christ as his saviour and will meet Tien Leng in heaven in God's time.

Sa Khor

Closer

2009-04-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

We're at Awana Genting. Brought June to visit your college. Still find it unbelievable how you could fall 3 floors down. June and I went to the restaurant you suggested to us last time. Damn bloody expensive :P

Dad and mom miss you very much too. Wish you were here with us. Why don't you come pay us a visit :") Brought them to Gotong Jaya for breakfast, but they didn't ask to see the site where you fell. I guess it's just too painful.

Your football team won big eh.

Love,
Hsieh May

happy 23rd b'day

2009-03-13T22:02:00.001-07:00

Happy CNY n Happy birthday my fren. guess wat...im warded in hospital now wei... wat a way to celebrate cny...lol...okla..wana continue slpin...enjoy ur day nigga. 5:48am, 1st of Feb 2009.
ws.

Doaku Untuk Mu

2009-03-13T22:01:00.001-07:00

Desir pasir di padang tandus segersang pemikiran hati terkisah ku di antara sahabat sejati. Ku cuba redakan relung hati bayangmu yang berlalu pergi terlukis di dalam kenangan. Bebas bermain di hatiku cerita tentang masa lalu cerita tentang kau dan aku kini tinggal hanya kenangan. Ku abadikan di dalam hatiku dan doaku untuk dirumu moga tenang disana. Terlalu cepat hari berlalu meninggal saban hari yang berlalu namun naluri tetap masih terkenang akan sahabat yang telah pergi berlalu. A friend is one of nicest things to have and one of nicest hings to be.walaupun kepergiaan sudah berlalu ia sukar untuk dilupakan kisah silam ketika berduka,gembira,sedih, dan marah. Segala memori yang terkisah tersimpan sebuah diari yang hanya menjadi ingatan masa silam. Walau kepergiaan hanya selama-lamanya namun segalanya masih teringat, moga aman bahgia disana..!

Ulangtahun lahir mu mendiang tian leng ku ucapkan agar rohmu sentiasa aman dan tenang. 1 Febuari adalah hari yang bermakna dan teristemewa buat sahabat ku mendiang tian leng ku doakan agar sentiasa dirahmati pada maha agung dan maha esa disana.

Setiap insan pasti merasa saat perpisahan terakhir di dunia yang fana ini.

Dari mohamad harris fasli bin ahmaD sri aman sarawak

Still Remember ...

2009-01-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

still remember tis song ah nigga? - only gods know why- ' kid rock'. our favourite during form 2 wei... i can still remember clearly that u, allan n me will sit together in class n talk about tokyo express...abt how they ride the mountain bikes n do delivery...even tot abt making such business in kl back then...lol...those were the days man.

time flies by like how u drove...45 mins from midvalley to pd...juz to see ur beloved aprillia 125cc bike... 1 year has gone by...xmas is comin... still remember we used to join our church carroling?
house by house n even avillion wei... u n june june were singing solo when we reached ur hse... xmas party in our church...with our beloved pastor zadock then...now reverent zadock d wei...higher pangkat liao.. dono u still remember the camp we went in nube beach? where agent 00i was talkin abt pentium 5...lol...til today there's no pentium 5 wei...he talked cock...

still remember we used to cycle to the estate in kg paya ride to the highest hill to ride down...feels like downhill in ps2...tat's the closest we could get to it..but it was fun...n then we ride in the estate to go out at bagan pinang... u were so into bike till u got urself a trek mountain bike...a haro soft-tail mountain bike...and then the road bike tat cost almost 10 k...which u sold it off for 4.5 if im not wrong...with the carbon rims...sigh...in the end din get to buy ur aprillia. lol...sohai... bought n sold nokia 8310 2 times...then lost it...but u don really care abt all those...cuz u care more abt ppl.

all n all...ur a great fren... a great man...but sumtimes ffk quite alot...esp when it comes to conning me...u n rajiv like the best actors i've seen in real life. during ur anniversary tis year i din do anythin for u man...got no idea wat to do...u were the 1 tat's always full of ideas abt wat to do n all...miss lots biatch..miss u man...hope u'll have a wonderfull xmas n don 4get to sing sum carrols for us down here...with ur dragon-like voice...lol...c u when i c u ku tin lok a.k.a. khoo tian leng...

wws.

jack

2008-12-08T08:23:00.001-08:00

i didn't want to write anything bout you jack. didn't want to write anymore. but i fail. i miss you man. honestly, time didnt heal nothing much really. you've been on my mind almost everyday dawg. b4 i sleep, when i wake up all i can think bout are those times back then dude. erm.. but i think its for the better. u sacrificed urself to wake us up from a beautiful messy dream. i feel rajiv, every word was written so perfectly.

been a year dawg. hope all is well.

kwek

A Year Without Jack

2008-12-08T08:20:00.000-08:00

Jack Khoo Tian Leng departed at the age of 21 last year on this very day. Jack was to me, one of the kindest, funniest guys you could ever meet. The news shocked me and hurt me terribly because Jack was my best friend outside my family.

It’s that time of the year when many of us reflect on the whole year’s events and make resolutions for the New Year. But it’s that time of the year when I think of Jack the most. As time passed, we grew and we wouldn’t get together as often as we used to. But time was never an obstacle. We would meet every weekend and pick up at the precise point in a conversation we had left off the week before. We discussed and shared everything from jobs, college, romance and hobbies. During the time following Jack’s death, there were many debates between myself and God over why he had to take such a person from my life. I do most certainly believe that death is part of life. Because of Jack, I’m reminded everyday how fragile life is and how important it is to appreciate my loved ones and those around me. It’s funny how when a loved one dies, some days you wake up and start your day as normal and when walking down the street it hits you that the person isn’t here anymore....... jack u will always be remembered,rest in peace JACK.......

Rajiv Loshan

1st year anniversary... of our dearest tian leng

2008-12-03T01:06:00.000-08:00

As all of you should remember, today marks the very day oue dear Khoo Tian Leng's departure, living us after a tragic fall which took place in Genting. For most of us today brings back lots of memory, good and bad. As for me, i still remember the day he left me, so sudden, that i felt numb at first, then only i cried my lungs out. For me generally, is the day where, i am left all alone and has no one to always support me, no matter wat the matter was.

Today i would like to tell him the latest changes i made in my life, after his departure.
I rejected my offer to Puchong, and i am permanently staying in seremban, as i think im gonna make it my new home. I found a beautiful new house, and im renting it.... the only problem is that, im financially not doing very well. im hoping that in order to start my life fresh, i must get my financial state to a more stable state. I tot of doing a part time job, but i just don know wat can i offer, or do for now.

I did pray to the Lord, to ask him for guidance, and like i always do, i talk to u. cause i know that u r the nearest thing to God that i know. Dearest darling pls pray for me, as i am in great despair, and i need ur help, guidance and ur support like i always did before u left me. I do hope all goes well for me... and also not forgetting, your family.

My family on the other hand is doing quite fine, my mum opened her dance center again, hpe she succeeds. My dad asked for a transfer to PD, and i think it was granted, Priyanka....as usual... busy with Skul and yup...BOYS!!!!! Prakash... has no change, pretty much the same. Pls help him open his eyes and to be better... and EMPLOYED!!

I also pray that ur family is doing well, as it is harder on them rather than me or my family, don leave them by themselves and always help them, guide them. Show them ur love for them, and always let them feel your warm presence in their hearts. keep them strong.

Your frenz, don worry ur best friend or foe??? i don know... but all i know is WaiSeng is trying so hard to keep the group together, help him yeah??? He misses u alot too... he stays with me and my family when he is in pd. We, meaning some of ur frens and i still try to hang out and keep in touch when we can.

WE miss u lots... and just wanna say.. we love u still!! muaxs... hugs...

Prema

Life is not a Matter of Milestones but of Moments

2008-12-01T11:23:00.000-08:00

After 365 days, the pain of losing someone dear feels strangely raw. As quoted by Rose Kennedy, “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds’. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

I started drafting this post a month ago, but time and time again, I can never find the right words. I guess, all that needed to be said had already been said.

So, here’s a tribute to you, my brother.

A project that transpired from his passing, Décorateur is officially launched on 3rd December 2008. With a tagline, “Creativity is My Lifestyle”, the weekly-updated blogazine is the first of its kind in Asia with the objective to inspire beautiful living and encourage the celebration of life events (I believe it is the first of such objective in Asia after doing my research, correct me if I'm wrong). In short, it's really all about living out your life to the fullest and the celebration of moments.

It started as a tiny idea to create a personal 'beautiful living' blog. However, after putting in much thoughts and sleepless nights of brainstorming, one idea led to another and eventually, that little idea turned into a BLOGAZINE!!!! It is not meant to be a large entertainment site funded by huge investors or large corporations but in plain words, a labour of love. It'll contain a combination of both blog-style writing and informative article-style write ups from me and other wonderful contributors and bloggers.

Thank you for 'colouring' & touching our lives in more ways that you could have ever known.

Rest in peace.

“If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax; I’d limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dance; I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.” - Nadine Stair -

"Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain -

2008-11-30T04:41:00.001-08:00

Sorry now only write for your testimonial jack... i read everybody
testi it makes me sad tat i lost a good fren tat is close to me... Got
mostly good memories when hanging out wit him and our pd gang..
I didnt know he got take my pic in his hp also.. Until u guys posted
the pics in his hp in october..... aiii..

i know him since highschool in stpd... last time his character is a
good fella.. but turn to different when went to subang... but when he
went genting inti to study.. he did well... too bad he must pass on...
So it's going to be a year aledi..
Hang out wit him sometimes wit our gang... but witout him pd will not
be the same anymore...
My other frens some need work in kl.. Some other place... Sometimes
see a pajero in the road tat resembles his 4wd tat always got sound
when on uneven road.. even if i online when he will be reaching the
house can hear the 4wd car to go out yam cha....

Tan Aik Sam

Best Friends

2008-10-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was gay. *lol* He has so many guy pictures in his phone. Usually ppl take group pictures, but in his phone, they are mostly individual profile shots.

Like a half naked picture of Wai Seng ...

Usually girls take picture of their boyfriends while driving...

or in the room....

A lot of pictures of Kwek.... I wonder why...

Memories of Gavin in his 'fitter' days... :P

.... and who is Cock Long?

Happy Anniversary

2008-10-12T18:13:00.001-07:00

well, if our dearest tian leng/ khoo/ jack .... is still here.... today is a very special day...
today would be OUR 3rd Year anniversary together ( Tian leng and Prema).
i still remembered how we celebrated our previous anniversaries.

the first one was so romantic... but funny also...
it was our first anniversary night, he had something planned out... so he asked me to come over to his house in pd. i got ready wearing a nice black dress, and told my dad to send me to his house. once i reached i saw him wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans, which was something so rare... i was so surprised. then he told me, darling... today im so happy, cause today is our first year of the first day we dated. i still remember the day we first kissed. i love you darling.... hugged me and kissed me...the joke of the day was when we were about to leave, his dad stopped him and asked him, son.... do u have enough??? meaning money. tian leng just smiled and turn all sweaty and flushed... his dad then gave him some money and told us to have fun and enjoy ourselves.. we both thanked him and left. then we drove off to el- cactus in his volvo.... when we arrived we chose a place and took our seats... then the waitress served us wine.. i was so shocked!!! he then said,.. i ordered wine and red wine was my choice cause u love it... i just feel like pampering you today... i was so happy i teared. then we had our dinner ... paid the bill.. then we went to the seaside and walked... then we headed home...

the second year... was a little bumpy at first, we had an argument and we totally did not speak at all to each other... for days... then it was 12th october and it was midnight... he called me... and said " happy anniversary darling, im sorry for hurting u so much.... i was wrong .... i do love you... sorry. shall we go to amirul's house for raya??? " i was so glad and we both went to amirul's house.... but the day was ruined when i had a bad gastric attack.... then we argued again... then the situation changed again... when we decided to go for karaoke in chearas.... we drank.. we got high, we hugged.. he dedicated songs after songs... we sang our lungs out ... i puked... and he did too on our way back to pd.
then in the room we made up and just slept off.....

this year,,, i guess nothing's gonna happen as he is not here with me.....
dearest darling, if you were here... im sure you will have something planned out... or is it my turn now?? well all i can do is to write in this blog and tell everyone ... wat we did... sweet memories,.... happy moments... and sharing our love... it was a special day indeed... i will always remember this date.... as this is the date where u came into my life and made it a whole lot better.!!!!

i love you, tian leng... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! muaxxz.....

prema rachel

a superb dream and experience.... was it a dream???

2008-10-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

there was a night where i had a hard time to fall asleep... i had so many things on my mind... i was not calm and was totally a wreck!! i was nearly going insane... i cried out to tian leng... asking him to comfort me... and talk to me...

when i was finally asleep.... i suddenly felt a warmth... a feeling i know and felt before...
i recognise the smell and the love.... i then turned around to see him hugging me tightly from behind... he held me so close and was kissing me at my ear and he whispered " darling, im always here, call me when u need me... i'll be there for you"

i cried and cried, and never felt so relieved and happy.... i smiled and kissed him and said thanx my darling,.... i miss u so much.... and i really appreciate you being there for me... like u promised,,,,, when you messaged me a year ago,,,,,

" when i have so much on my mind, i hug u and it disappears.... one day i hope i can do the same.... ".

im so glad u kept that promise eventhough u have departed...
im happy to have you around me...
if only u know wat im going thru right now.... i know u'll be all out to help me out ... everyway possible.... but all i want is to be able to feel that touch again... the touch of warmth and love i felt the other night. when i am in your arms i feel so secure... i feel that there is nothing that is able to harm me,,,, i miss you my dearest darling.....
thanks for telling and showing me that u are hearing my prayers... and that you are guiding me from above...

i guess your frenz were right ... u really did take me as your gal... i only wanna say... that u were my world... and if given the chance .... i'll make sure u know how i felt bout you..
at times i wonder was it a dream?? or did u really just come and comfort me... and then went back to your new home.... in the heavens above,,,

dearest darling, in a few days... it will be a year.. but i feel you and think of you like you are still here.... not that i want it to fade away... i pray that it will never fade away... as u were and still are the best gift i ever had!! i really missed the days we spent and the crazy things we did together.... i miss you ... the reason why i smile and laugh...
thinking of u at times makes me tear... but most of the time i have a smile... thinking of the great times we had...

thanks for loving me so much dearest darling..... muaxx....

Room Service

2008-10-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

I was reading this junk in my mailbox and it freakin made me laugh like mad. I wanted to post this here because it reminded me of how Tian Leng would have reacted to this e-mail. I bet he'd have something funny to say to this, and to imagine him laughing out loud to this room service conversation or him mimmicking the staff. It really brought back the good old memories of crazy, happy times when he was around.

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand why I post this.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. This has been nominated for the best email of 2007:

Room Service (RS): 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.'

Guest (G): 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'

RS: 'Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??'

G: 'Uh..yes.I'd like some bacon and eggs.'

RS: 'Ow July den?'

G: 'What??'

RS: 'Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?'

G : 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.'

RS: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?'

G: 'Crisp will be fine.'

RS : 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?'

G: 'What?'

RS:'An toes. July Sahn toes?'

G: 'I don't think so.'

RS: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes??'

G: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.'

RS: 'Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?'

G: 'English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'

RS: 'We bodder?'

G: 'No...just put the bodder on the side.'

RS: 'Wad! ?'

G: 'I mean butter...just put it on the side.'

RS: 'Copy?'

G: 'Excuse me?'

RS: 'Copy...tea...meel?'

G: 'Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.'

RS: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin w bodder on sigh and copy....rye??'

G: 'Whatever you say.'

RS: 'Tenjewberrymuds.'

G : 'You're very welcome.'

LIVE STRONG

2008-10-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

One night i was surfing the net, trying to find a Jay Chou song i heard month's ago on a fren's tribute blog. Having had difficulty locating it on utube, i decided to go back to the tribute blog to check it out. To my surprise, there were still people posting testimonials on it. I was so amazed and touched...wonder if i would have such privilege and pleasure like Tian Leng, to have such great family and frens to remember me when i leave this world.

Well anyway this post is not about me but I just wanted to share something with those who has lost someone really dear to them. As I had mentioned it to Hsieh May much earlier in the year...you know, you will never forget. Every hour, every minute..even to the last breath, it will feel like it was just yesterday, even though years have past. You will feel pain and sadness, you will wake up in the middle of the night in tears, crying and screaming in silence (so that you don't wake everyone else or to let others think you are going mad) - but you know, speaking from experience....you will heal, you will not forget - for they will live in your hearts. And yes, it will still feel like they had just left yesterday - even though, it has been years since that day they left. But, God has plans for us all. He knows when one's body is failing you so badly in this world, that it's best he took you back to his perfect world rather then to make you suffer. For the rest that remains in this world - well we will continue live and live strong. A friend once told me, "God will not put something in your path, if he didn't think you couldn't handle it". So, have faith and trust..sometimes we go through rough patches, but these experiences make us a stronger person.

LIVE STRONG and remember to pray for the souls of our dearly departed brothers and sisters...one day we shall reunite.

Sharon

The Space You Left Behind

2008-09-03T09:13:00.001-07:00

I cried for you, sweet friend,

When I learned that you were gone,

The tears just kept on flowing,

For I don't know how long.

You must have known my heartache,

Though I was miles away,

But we'd touched hearts some time ago,

So I knew when you had left that day.

Friend, sister, buddy, cohort,

All of those, and more,

Tears we shared, and laughter, too,

Never ever were we bored.

Friends will come, and friends will go,

We say good-bye, and we move on,

But we're never quite the same again,

For a part of us has gone.

A heart is a symbol of love,

It is made in one piece and whole,

It grows fuller through the years,

With every friend we know.

But then when friends begin to leave,

And one by one, they disappear,

Leaner, thinner our hearts grow,

And cracks and crevices appear.

So now you've gone, my friend,

And my heart's forever changed,

Nothing can restore it,

It will never be the same.

The space you left behind

Is wide and deep, dear friend,

No one else can ever fill it,

Nor will it ever mend.

I am Thankful

2008-07-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE or HE IS AT HOME,
NOT 'LEPAKING'.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A GARDEN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR MY HUGE UTILITIES BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I LIVED COMFORTABLY .

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH OR TEMPLE
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

You've got Mail

2008-07-10T12:18:00.001-07:00

I was so busy I almost forgot to post this until Wai Seng texted me the other day.

Few months back, I posted about this freaky sms incident. It happened again last month. I received 3 new messages, 2 of them - 1 from my bride about setting appointment and another 1 was sms blast on some sales/promotion. The 3rd sms was from Tian Leng. I clicked on it, and then it dissappeared. Well, at least this time I had a witness so I know I'm not crazy.

So where is his phone & SIM card? Somewhere in the closet, totally out of battery and no credit.

Purpose Driven Life (cont..)

2008-06-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

I like the bit Hsieh May wrote on the " Purpose Driven Life". It is a great book and was on the best seller chart for a long time. The author Dick Warren also wrote an accompanyiny workbook "40 Days of Purpose" and there is also a VCD on how to study the book. After reading the book you will look at life from a different perspective.

I like what Hsieh May wrote on" Love". I want to add more to what Hsieh May wrote on "love"......

"If I could speak in any language in heaven and on earth but did not love others, I would only be making a meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbals....and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything but did not love others what good would I be?...If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it but if I do not love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own ways. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices when the truth is out. Love never gives up, never loses faith. It's always hopeful, and endures through every circumstances. Love will last forever. There are three things that will endure:- Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is LOVE."

Tian Leng had loved and we had returned that love to the point of great pain in losing him.But a little bit of him will always live in each of us and that is the love he had given.

Sa Khor

PS Tien Kheng, are you still following the Blog.

The Purpose Driven Life

2008-06-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

Was reading this book and would like to share some of the excerpts here.

The Best Use of Life is Love

Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. As Mother Teresa said, "Its not what you do, but how much love you put into it that matters." Love is the secret of a lasting heritage.

I have been at the bedside of many people in their final moments, when they stand on the edge of eternity, and I have never heard anyone say, "Bring me my diplomas! I want to look at them one more time." When life on earth is ending, people don't surround themselves with objects. What we want around us is people - people we love and have relationships with.

In our final moments we all realise that relationships are what life is all about. Wisdom is learning that truth sooner or rather than later. Don't wait until you're on your deathbed to figure out that nothing matters more.

We will be evaluated on our love. The third reason to make learning to love the goal of your life is that it is what we will be evaluated on in eternity. One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relationships. In heaven God won't say, "Tell me about your career, your bank account and your hobbies." Instead, he will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. Jesus said the way to love him is to love his family and care for their practical needs: "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one fo the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me."

When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you're taking with you is your character. That's why the bible says, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

The Best Expression of Love is Time

Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can't make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

You are Not an Accident

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're precious and perfect unique design,
called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with GOd's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, the trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Luv,
Hsieh May

I Feel So Sad

2008-05-26T10:02:00.001-07:00

i feel so sad...
i feel so weak...
i feel so hurt...
deep within..

five months it has been
yet i felt it was just yesterday
i have a scar in my heart
that forever will stay

tell me its not real
tell me its fake
tell me its a dream
that i'll soon awake

why did that happen?
why did he go??
how can he leave us???
here all alone..

i pray for you to stay
i pray for you to awake
i pray hard day and night
but it seems its all fake!

it feels like i've lost all hopes
i've lost all my dreams
i feel like giving up
cuz without you it all seems unmeaningful

i wanna see you again
feel your warmth,kiss your face
i wanna hug you again,
hear your voice all again

i'm afraid of being alone
for i'll cry like i do often
i don't wanna weep no more
but it seems i can't

Forever i'll be sad
Forever you'll be gone
even if Forever i wish
you'll never come back...

i'll try to be happy..
i'll try to accept ther fact..
but to achieve that..
i hope your guidance to help..

June

2008-05-20T12:14:00.001-07:00

I have followed Tien Leng's blog from the beginning and continue to read it every now and then for updates. I had cried with his parents and sisters at his funeral and shared the sorrow of the loss of Tien Leng through this wonderful blog. I asked the Lord why Tian Leng was taken away so cruelly when he was at the prime of his life. Tien Leng was God's gift to us to enjoy for a period of time. We are not to hold tightly what God has blessed us. We enjoyed having him around for 20 short years. He had enriched and spiced up our lives and left us with so many wonderful memories. He had influenced us and made his mark in our lives.God has taken Tien Leng back home to heaven. Those of us who know our Lord Jesus will see him again when our time on this earth is over. We thank our Lord for letting us have Tien Leng while he was on earth. Yes he is having a better time in heaven and probably saying " hey guys, dont worry about me up here, This is heaven, you know, this is heavenly. When your time on earth is up come and join me but not before that. Live out your dreams"

Sheh May asked "How to let go of our pains and sorrows of the loss of Lengleng." Letting go is to tell our Lord Jesus that we do not know how to deal with our pains and loss and to let God take over our lives. I whisper a little prayer for you Sheh May and Jun and all of you in pain that our Lord will heal you all. Letting is to recall all the beautiful memories of Lengleng with a smile and thanking God for Lengleng who shared his life with us.Lengleng is the sun rays which light up our lives, warmed up our hearts gave us his joys and then is gone.Thank you Lord.

Sa Khor
(3rd Aunty)

tian leng...

2008-05-08T11:43:00.001-07:00

tian leng...
shima is right!! i dunno how to carry on with ma life!!
i really dont know how to even make a step or take a step....
everything i do.. or everywhere i go.. i see you..
i remember you.. and i can even picture you...
sometimes when i think of you .. its like i can feel you...

i have seen every part.. every single part of you!!
i have seen when u are happy.. the smile,,
i have seen when you are sad... when you cried on my shoulders...
i have seen you when you were high.. drinking so much!!
i have seen you when u are angry!!
i have seen you bare- bodied!! always asking whether your body nice or not???
look like arnold or not??
nice 6 packs or not??
i have seen you sick like hell...
i have seen you shy
i have seen you so nervous ....
and to add to my list ...
i have seen you..... lying still... so still....
bleeding every single part of your body...
seen you looking so different...
not like the macho guy or leng chai i know....
lying so still... so motionless... not like usual... always moving.. up and down...
i saw the hours you were crashing... when u were not stable...
i saw when they inserted the tube into your airway!
i saw when they were touching like every other patient... moving you .. turning you...
i saw how many lines and how many infusions you had,.
i saw the amount of blood transfused..
i saw the wound of your surgery... your 6 pack was gone!!!
i felt how acidic your body was....
but u still smelt the same!!
i kissed u... when u were warm.... and now even when u were stiff and cold!!
i saw the last few mins of your life when you took your last breath..
i was there to see your heart stop slowly.....
i was there to see all your fluids... coming out of your mouth... when u left us...
i was there when the nurses cleaned you up...
i helped you wear your sweater,,,,
i helped you tie your shoe lace...

the list can go on....

tian leng....
i confess... i am not doing to good now... without you in my life...
i have lost the directions to a happy life!
i just need my little compass ...
or a bright light shining so brightly from heaven... to guide me
or an angel who loves me... to protect me...
tian leng... i wonder why you?? not me...
cause.. if its me... pd would not have changed...
your frenz will have you...
your family will have you...
your genting frenz... will be happy again...
kwek will be funny again...
plakas will shuffle like mad like in malacca
wai seng will still have a brother... and partner in crime
they will have you and you have them...
and my departure wouldnt be sad.. or heart breaking....
things would be fine....

why??? why you my dear tian leng..... why.....

Things are Never the Same Without You

2008-05-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

Jack,

things are never the same without u around. ppl say time heals, i really want to believe that. but in this case, it's just not the same. every now and then when i come across people or things that remind me of you, i still hold on tightly to my self denial that you are still around. help me overcome my fear jack, help me overcome my denial. help me overcome my fears of returning home to malaysia. because i am still after all these months, not ready to face your departure.

i miss you.

kwek

WHERE ARE YOU ?

2008-05-07T10:30:00.001-07:00

Where are you?

Everytime, I read this blog dedicated for u, my eyes will surely turn red. No matter how many times I read it, its just like I cant believe it. It’s a blog for someone who is no longer with us. I miss having u sms-ing and ask me how am I doing..telling me that we have and we should meet up whenever u r down in Shah Alam or KL. Once, he was in Shah Alam, but I was back in PD. Aiyoh.

Tian leng, you were the one who always tell me that I deserve to be happy and I deserve a good man who can take a good care of me. Whenever I tell u bout the jerks around me, treating me like shit, u will always say ‘ what the F**K are u doing with this assholes? U don’t deserve to be treated like this la. Feel like beating them up la’. You always tell me that u’ll hook me up with this guy la, that guy la..he said it was some ‘good guy who can take care of u’. (as if I was THAT desprate, but I knew, he was caring for me and he wants me to get the best). Now tian leng, I have found some one who takes a good care of me, treat me good..i’ve always wanted u to meet him.. but both of us were busy..whenever I ask u ‘werayu?’ u’ll be at ur college. Well,we both we stuck with our studies. Now, u can never meet him, and ‘him’ can never dpt to see you and see y u r such a great friend of mine that I always to him about. Guess that u cant see how happy I am now..but my happiness has lessen since the day u were gone.

That morning, I woke up with an SMS from Charmaine, saying “ Shim, Tian leng has just past away”. I broke into tears as I was planning to visit u that every morning. I was too late. Wanted to visit u the day before, but I got no transport ( as usual). Talking bout transport, Tian Leng will never hesistate to fetch me up for some roti canai whenevr im back in PD. Eventhough, back then, I lived in Spring Hill, which was about 20-30minutes drive from PD town. But he always ask for an upah when he reaches my house – AIR MINERAL. Heh. Cute. At times, he doesn’t need to mention it, I just knew it. We always hang out just the two of us, talking bout life in college, relationships, movies, everything. He never complains bout how far my house was, just he usually complains bout the lacking of lamp post in my area. Heh,penakut juga this fella. J

I’m sorry that I didn’t visit u either at the hospital or during the memorial service. Had some difficulties back then, just cant get away with it. In some say, I was a bit glad that I didn’t go..because if I did went, I think I can never let those images of u laying down in a comma, seeing u in a coffin, that will just broke me down and killing me slowly inside. I’m a very emotional and weak person when come to these kind of things. I really respect PREMA for being such a strong person. If I were prema… I cant imagine.

Tian leng. I’m writing this with tears flowing out from my eyes. At times, I just cant believe that u are not here with us anymore. I would tell myself, that “Tian Leng study oversea, I cant be reached” just to make myself feel better. Yeah. ‘oversea’. It is soo over the sea, till no one can reach u. ~sigh~

I still have the photos of u, baring at my katil as if its urs. It was cute and agak lucah, the way u posed. J it makes me smile whenever I look at it. U always brings a smile on everyone’s face. Who doesn’t smile when they see ur face?

Tian Leng. My Andy Lau.

“ Engkau datang seperti cahaya.Cahaya yang menerangi kehidupan semua..”

From the movie Ayat-Ayat Cinta

I miss that cahaya. I miss you.

Shima.

FRIENDS

2008-05-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

It has been 5 months 18 hours n 7 minutes since u left us all behind. Im missin u dearly jack.
I've always regreted for not takin enough pictures of us together esp when we were on a trip. Now all u left me is juz memories tat will fade through time. I cant even remember ur voice anymore jack. How i wished I've all the videos n pictures of us doin stupid shit together so tat i can laugh back at how silly we were. I appreciate tat i was given a chance to know u and being 1 of ur best fren in ur life. I just hated it when I think back of the places we went and came back without a single piece of photo to look at. Maybe we were young and naive and don really care much about pictures but now i u'stand wat it's worth. Just wish tat i had more pictures of us to look back at our short and wonderful frenship.

After so long, I finally realize tat ur not 1 of us. Ur not normal human beings with normal mission in hand. Mayb...juz mayb ur an angel sent down to light up the life of others. No matter who ur with...u alwiz make them feel comfortable when ur around. There are something different about u. Ur best frens to many many people.
I've just finished readin all the testi u've got after ur gone. Y do we say the things we wana say when it's over? Y cant we say those things more often when they're still around us? When was the last time u tell sum 1 tat u care for them? esp frens. When was the last time u hear sum 1 tells u tat ur the best fren they ever had? or hav u ever recieve those compliments?

U were best frens to more than 30 people in ur life. whom of them do u consider ur best fren ever jack? guess i can never answer tat for u. During ur funeral..I was ur best fren cuz tat's wat they all been sayin cuz we were frens since primary. Yet does tat really count for u? To me...ur 1 of my many many best frens but ur rite there on top. Top of the list! Many has put u on the top of their list. Kwek...bala...dale...tai..

.feri...inder..ashwin...rajiv...galvin...allan...juz to name a few. U r the best fren for all of us n u alwiz know how to make us laugh. It's really amazing doesn't it? For a man who doesn't speak much in the public, can have so many best frens frm different background is something we need to learn from him.

Ur such a great fren and we were such a team together aren't we? Many accused we're gay cuz we were so close even ur gf jealous of us. Many have asked are we brothers cuz we're the brown chinese which u taught me tat it is called chigga.(indicatin chinese+nigga) We've learnt so much from each other. ur not only my fren...ur my bro. i know i never told u all these before...but u r the best fren i ever got. Thanks for being part of ur life. I'll live to tell the stories abt u.

I'll see u when im done here. Bless me from above. I'll update u every now and then Tian Long.

WWS

Between Heaven & Earth

2008-04-03T12:13:00.001-07:00

"Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to go back. In this case, just a few minutes."

"Do you ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it four years like high school? One year? An eight week rock tour? Can your life change in a month, or a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead. And when you're young, one hour can change everything."

"If you could go back and change one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Or would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing, just one moment? One moment, that you've always wanted back."

One moment of judgement, that separates between heaven and earth.

- Quotes taken from One Tree Hill (S04E13 - Pictures of You / S04E14 - Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers /S04E10 - Songs to Love & Die By) -

His Room

2008-03-21T13:52:00.001-07:00

One can tell a lot about a person from looking at his room.

As some of you were asking - yes, his room, bicycle, gym/sports equipment, books, are kept tidy as they were before he left, except for his clothes and old magazines.

The dream about you

2008-03-12T06:57:00.001-07:00

It was 4 a.m. when I woke up to find out that it was only a dream. Clearly to me it was as if Jack came back to life and we were catching up on every single thing he missed out on. It was like the television series Smallville when Chloe was shown to be burned in her own house (don't quite remember much about that).Anyhow Jack came back to college and somehow or rather I happen to be walking around the hostel area when I spotted that familiar face standing outside the room of M2, turned out to be that the whole lot of M15 his favorite room shifted into M2 for some reason. I was totally shocked that I stood there and did nothing till he turned around to get his water bottle filled at the water cooler just outside his room. With that his reaction changed when he saw me standing there doing nothing, he then asked me what the hell are you doing there just standing there aren't you going to approach me? I just froze there the same way I was when I saw him in hospital the first time. I then snapped out of it from just freezing there and said "hi" of all the words I said that. I couldn't believe I just said that. He smiled back at me and then called black out of his room to have a look at me and black told me that it was real he is here. Telling me that it was Tian Leng in front of me. The last thing I remembered I called out his name and only to realize that I was only dreaming. Even though its been 2 months plus since he left us all behind. And for me being 6,612 ++ kilometers away from our hometown, it still hasn't made me forget about Jack. You left me and many others clueless as of what happened but at least I do know that you are still around us no matter where we are......

Shaun.

Unbelievable

2008-03-11T04:03:00.000-07:00

Truth is not easy to come by.

Especially when the "why" remains unanswered, many of us still can't rest in peace.

Some say "Just let go. It's all fated."

But "How" ... if "Why" is still left with so many question marks.

Tian Leng may had many flaws. But despite his many split personalities (he liked to act to make ppl laugh), he was also pretty much a predictable sort of guy. Close friends would know his character and read him like a book.

So high. The green-tiled rooftop slants downwards. Misty night, wet roof, no witnesses or witnesses who claimed they didn't see him or hear him step into THEIR room... Yet, the police at Genting has closed off the case as accident without any solid witnesses or questioning. Why didn't he just get the key from his room mate? What was the fight all about between the Indian students and the Disciplinary Master just before the incident?

The mystery of Khoo Tian Leng or the unbelievable truth?

- Hsieh May -

Happy CNY

2008-02-15T15:31:00.001-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to u man...1st time taking ang pow with out u by my side. 1st time stepping into ur hse with out u there entertainin us in the past as a great host. No more mahjong with u...no more gambling with u...but when i gamble...i keep callin u to come out but u didn't...tat's y lost money...lol...after reading other posts, i just feel like writtin some thing for u. Wanted to on ur b'day...but dono wat to say. After visiting ur hse...need to report to u d now.

I wasn't really sure whether to go visit ur family anot cuz ur sis told us not to during xmas...but after asking june june...ur mum planned with me abt it..usually it was u who come n tell us wat time n when. So when i reach the front gate...still feeling unsure abt all tis cuz it's only 2 months since u went away and i don wana do anything tat is gonna hurt ur family more but I do believe tat u would want us to come and make some noise at ur hse. Not long after settling down in the hall...ur dad brought a can of tiger n said " I know u need tis now". it sounds so familiar cuz u were the 1 tat usually says tat to me when i reach ur hse. guess the khoo family really can drink. ur mum said june june tried drinkin beer and she said it's nice. LOL...jack..how la...ur younger sis tasted alcohol liao.

Then i asked ur dad whether wana gamble anot...n strait he finds for cards but ur hse got no cards. then kok siang brought cards frm his car. me n ur dad started gamblin 1st...i lost 5 bucks then win it back from ur dad. ur dad really funny la. every year sure catch me n play some funny game then lose money to him 1. but it was fun. When prema n jun jun was in ur room...i went in too. Then ur mum came to me and talked abt u. Nothing has changed in ur room but ur family has wrapped up ur gym set n bicycle so tat it wont rust. When ur mum talked abt tat nite when u fell...she said tat if only u were sent in to a private rather than the stupid government hospital...she cant hold her tears anymore...thank god i still can hold it infront of her. If not jun jun n prema sure gonna join the big burst out in ur room. We talked abt u 24/7...we misses u 24/7. It's been 2 months n 8 days since u left us...but to me it's like u left us y'day. Every time i read tis blog...it gives me heartache and missis u more. Now i know tat u even brain washed ur mum abt youngsters lifestyle. Cuz she said tat i wont wake up till noon...so she agreed tat we come to the hse after 3. If u can hear me Jack...pls go visit ur parents in their dream k. They missed u dearly everyday n nite. Chinese New Year without Jack...very very boring. PD with out Jack...very quiet ever since. Life without u...sucks terribly.

Come visit me in my dream wei...don always lepak in ur genting room only.
happy CNY n Happy belated B'day. Listen to me n go visit ur parents k.
Ciao.

ur bro,
wai seng.

In Our Hearts

2008-02-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

In Our Hearts

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday,
And the days before that, too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.
God has you in His Keeping.
We have you in our Heart.

~author unknown~

Gone but Not Forgotten

2008-02-07T06:43:00.000-08:00

It’s already 2 months plus since jack left this world. Losing jack is like losing 10 friends or even more. Since he left, Pd is so quiet n we don’t even know what to do during the weekends. normally he would plan what to do during weekends such as go for movies,fishing,watch football,tani...what I admire about jack is he will bring prema and chiil wit us during the weekends because most of them once they have a girlfriend they would slowly avoid their friends n only be wit their girlfriend. Even when jack just started the relationship he never forget us in pd,every weekend without failing he will call us out if he comes back.1 thing for sure, if u need a favor from him he hardly say no, if he can help u he will try his best to help. Before 3rd of December 2008, I would rush back after my classes on Fridays to get back home, and sometimes meet jack at kl and go back to Pd together. but now I don’t really feel like going back pd I just don’t know y. whatever it is im proud that I had jack as great friend/brother/hengtai in my life n I don’t think anyone can replace him. No matter what life goes on and , I would like to achieve something for him and always pray that he is doing good up there and god will take good care of him.

Rajiv

Life and Politics in Malaysia

2008-02-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

Telephone call answered by the 3rd ring

15 minutes to renew your business license

2 hours to apply for a new passport

7 days payment made to 60% of contractors who had submitted their invoices

14 days the maximum amount of time before a contractor is paid after he has submitted his invoice

70% of backlog cases in land offices have been cleared since 2004

- "One Service, One Deliver, No Wrong Door" as announced by Chief Secretary Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan [New Sunday Times, 3rd Feb 08] -

-------------------------------------------

On a separate issue:

1 - 2 hours for an ambulance to arrive.

2 police reports filed on a similar case before they realised there was a duplicate.

9 hours a critically injured patient was left in the "emergency ward" before he was prepped for surgery.

6,360km (3,432 nautical miles) the distance of a phone call made by someone from another country to another important someone at the hospital in order to get the doctors to take action.

7 hours for a police officer to arrive at mortuary. Less than 5 minutes to snap some pictures.

3 visits to the hospital before someone can tell you the right answer that to get medical records and doctor's statement, one needs to go to "Wisma Kayu".

60 days you'll have to wait to get the doctor's statement and signature on a "yes/no" and short answers 1-page form.

RM200 - RM1,000 you'll need to pay depending on "kerumitan kes" should you require the full medical record. (people don't need a new statement or modified record, just the existing medical records, how "rumit" can that be?!)

Min 60 days waiting period to get medical records.

13 police summonses before bus driver claimed three lives on a road accident.

- Voice of a frustrated Malaysian, and representing many more -

-------------------------------------------

Elsewhere in Malaysia:

There is still a chance to get away with corruption at the highest level in Malaysia even if you are caught on video with the now infamous quote by VK Lingam "it looks like me, sounds like me, the room matches the living room in my house, but I will not say 100% it is me."

Barisan National's big guns descended on Penang to hand out RM millions worth of goodies (in view of the coming general election). [The Star, 2nd Feb 08]

Malaysia's PM launched The Emperor's Clothes boutique belonging to daughter at Pavillion KL.

Health Minister got caught in a sex scandal.

The ironies of life and politics in Malaysia. Time to stand up, take action and be counted!

Happy Bday Brother

2008-02-02T23:56:00.000-08:00

I've been back in malaysia for two weeks now..i still remember we planned to hang out a lot when i came back..u promised to hang out with me..sigh..malaysia isnt the same without you..subang isnt the same without you..Happy Birthday Khoo..

faisal

ur day..

2008-02-02T18:11:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday Jack.

Kwek

My Chocolate Carousel

2008-02-02T17:59:00.001-08:00

MY CHOCOLATE CAROUSEL
Chocolate cake....hhmmm...evrytime when it comes to this time..this day..of the year...we would have the heavenly chocolate cake..so devilicious that it melts in your mouth..you cant help but to take a bite of it when u see it. irresistible wei..however unfortunately..during this time of the year..we won’t be having that anymore..what am i talking bout?...

Well..its our dear beloved tian leng’s bday on the 1st of feb.and evrytime..we would have chocolate cake on this day..well..its cause its tian leng’s favourite cake.

**~Chocolate Cake~**

i thought of the past few years where our family, for sure are gonna have chocolate cake on every year on the 1st of Feb. miss the chocolate cake..but what is it compared to dear jack. it can be replaced and bought another day..on the other hand, Tian Leng..?its someone, a life that no one can replace. Ever...

There’s like this feeling inside of me...a prickly feeling.i feel like i’m still living in the past and not wanting to lose that feeling. The feeling that Tian Leng is still here. Everytime at home i always think of him..Thinking that he’s in college and he is coming back on weekends. Feeling that anxiety of him coming back....

Now every weekends i remember the days where he would come back in the evening..i was hoping for him to reach that front gate..knock on the door and call out my name..I keep imagining that image..That picture of him..That feeling that i always feel when he comes home..but it is so different now..i wait but he’s not coming. i try to hear but its fading. i try to feel but it’s not real.

Sometimes i even force myself to think that what I saw last time was not real. That it wasn’t Tian Leng. Then is not him and that this is a terrible nightmare. a nightmare that i will forget once i wake up and realise that it was all only a dream and it did not even happened. Then i realised..
“No June..It’s real...it had happened. u were in the hospital, u were there, and u saw him. It was him lying there, that was his blood, that was his face, his body, his hand. That was him and he’s gone.”
I tried to reject that fact. Thinking that it was all like in those drama movies but it wasn’t. This is reality.

When i was watching heroes the other day,i thought how nice it would be if i had superpowers.in that case i could turn stop time and go back into the past like hiro nakamuri?then i could save tian leng.or what if i could paint the future like Isaac mendez?then i could predict the future and stop tian Leng from that tragic fall. What if Tian Leng had the ability to fly like Nathan petrelli? Then he would have survived that fall. What if Tian Leng had Claire Bennett’s in the same case just like wolverine powers? He can heal himself and still be here having a time of his life.
But its all just movies and unreal dreams..

I made up a nickname for Tian Leng.its called Chocolate Carousel. I nicknamed him this caused he liked chocolate cakes a lot. Carousel is a place in the palace of the golden horses where he went for his intern. His friends said that that was his favourite place in that hotel where he feels calm and has peace in his heart. i thought it is a good combination. It sounds like a creamy chocolate cake with drizzles of syrup and white chocolate with a dash of flaky icing dust on top. Sounds elegant and heavenly to me. =)

I will keep you in my heart always loving you sincerely and missing you dearly! especially when I’m eating chocolate cake! ;p HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY KOH KOH!! I hope you are having a blast up there, bringing joy and laughter to the angels around you! last but not least...i dedicate this memory verse to you! Think that you did found the true meaning of love and i know that you are carrying it with you now.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (I Corinthians 13:4-8).

With all hugz,kisses & love,
June ^,^

Mr Jack

2008-02-02T17:57:00.000-08:00

I know jack's birthday is on yesterday. I wish him Happy Birthday and hope he will have a good peace in the sky. Besides that, we doesn't know very well to each other, but he is my senior in the Palace of the Golden Horses Hotel. He was from the Genting College and he same as me had a training in the hotel. He also had mentioned that he felt this Golden Horses was the Five stars hotel and great to training in here. On the other hand,he was a kind,willing to help,funny and many more. I am so happy to add him as a friend and he also would shared his experience with me. This is because I was afraid to training in this hotel. I not always saw him during working or after work. Suddenly, after I finished to attend my convocation at JW Marriott Hotel. The next day I heard a bad news from my friend,Haris. He send me a message to inform me that he already passed away. First, I was shocked and I can't believed this was true. I asked my friend check properly and then sms back to me. At 10.30pm, Haris sms me and said that this new was true. Ay this moment, I can't accept this truth that Khoo was passed away on last year. So,in the end I also need to accepted the truth. Anyway, I hope his family don't felt upset and hope also Khoo can went in peace. Last but not least, I just want to said thank you to Khoo share his experience to me.

Lim Seu Kee

for all whom he loved and loved him...he is still with you

2008-02-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

was jack's birthday ystdy. i nvr felt more sense of loss than i did ystdy thinking hw it would hv been if he was still around wit his best buddies organising some birthday party n me finding out about all de hillarious tactics dat they did once they were sloshed. i am away from home..so far away from where i wished i was on de 1st of Feb when the clock striked 12. i actually planned to drink for him but i fell sick a few hours earlier. it reminded me of when i went to the hospital to see him after the fall..i fell sick then n was stil recovering when i fell sick again the day before his birthday..i wanted so badly to be back home and to go to the beach..bt since i couldnt, i went to the lake near my housing area in

kampar and just thought of him dat nite..i felt the pain and i felt the loss..til today when i look at his pictures, read this blog or just think about him and all the ppl in his life who hold him so dear, i find myself thinking of how unreal it felt that he was gone..suddenly i feel so detached..like im living in a dream...cause living in that dream is much more better than to admit to myself that he really is gone..that he wont be cmg back..you see if i was dreaming, i would wake up sooner or later, n he'll still be there..and no one would be suffering inside n there wouldnt be any pain. he would be smiling that smile, n his jeep would drive me crazy n id stil want 2 kill his dogs..his sister wouldnt hv lost their brother, prema would stil be with the man she loves, wai seng and kwek wouldnt hv lost their brother, valentino fc would still hv their left winger, de 6 jahanam would hv remained de 6 jahanam..and we wouldnt hv lost a great soul, n i would stil make fun of him about all de nonsense he used to do while i was his neighbour...

moving on is still hard to do bt time does not seem to want to stop just for a little while..everything has change bt there is one thing we can do 4 him..n dat is to celebrate his life here on earth regardless of how short it was cause he has made such a great impact no matter hw small or big in de lives of everyone he has evr met...all i can say is dat let us live our lives as he did and make him proud..keep him in our hearts..let him live through us..n we shall keep his memory and his spirit alive..

happy birthday mr...i hope you had a kick ass party up there...we all miss you badly...oh and another thing..if you happen to bump into heath ledger up there, say hello to him for me k...take care of yourself mr..check in on the others from time to time...dun play to many pranks k...

it was wonderful being your schoolmate, neighbour and friend..thank you for all the memories..

caroline

1st february special day

2008-02-02T17:55:00.000-08:00

Apapun yang terjadi, berjalan tanpa henti,airmata yang tertahan,waktu untuk dijatuhkan, nanti kita kan tahu, betapa bijaknya hidup, sepahit apa pun inbi, pelajaran yang bererti, semoga kepegiaanmu, tak akan merubah apapun,semoga mampu ku lawan kesepiaanku.......(song by Datin Sri Siti Nurhaliza-Melawan kesepian). 1st febuary adalah hari yang bahgia....Embun dipagi buta,menebarkan bau basah,detik demi detik ku hitung namun dihati tabah akan kepergiannya.Hampir 2 bulan mendiang khoo tian leng meninggalkan kita.namun dihati tetap sedih akan kepergiaanya.Siang berganti malam...malam berganti siang....hujan....petir.....panas...mendung...adalah kewujudan di dunia.Sedih dihati tiada siapa yang akan megerti.Hanya berbaurkan kesedihan yang amat menusuk dihati.1st febuary is a special date bagi mendiang khoo ian leng.Tarikh tersebut adalah hari yang bermakna bagi dirinya.Tahun berganti tahun pasti mendiang khoo tian leng menunggu saat yang amat bermakna bagi dirinya.1st febuary akan menjelma dengan hari yang trpenting bagi dirinya.Ia adalah hari ulang tahun lahir mendiang Khoo tian leng .walaupun tahun 2008 tiada kesampaian hanya ku sampaikan doa agar roh mendiang Khoo Tian Leng aman tenteram.Entahlah mengapa Kepergiaan mendiang Khoo Tian leng tidak dapat dilupakan.Bila ke wangsa maju teringat akan mendiang...kerana disitu lah satu-satu nya tempat membawa hati yang tenang.Seakan-akan bayang-bayang nya megekori.Andainya masa dapat diputarkan pasti ku ulangkan masa yang menceriakan bersama mendiang Khoo Tiang Leng.Tidak semudah itu untuk melupakan seseorang yang terlalu banyak berbakti.Jasa dan budi mendiang Khoo Tian Leng pasti ku kenang hingga ke akhir hayat.Kenakalan mendiang khoo Tian Leng bermain diminda.Teringat waktu bergurau senda sehingga mengeluarkan air mata.Kenakalan,funny,rajin,cergas adalah keperibadiaan mendiang Khoo Tian Leng.Keperibadiaan mendiang Khoo Tiang Leng amat sempurna.Tiada hari yang membosankan mendiang Khoo Tian Leng.Bagi diri mendiang adalah menceriakan dengan senyuman yang manis dan ikhlas.Dimana....Kemana.....Disitu....Disini.....Kesana....kemari....satu imbuhan yang tiada noktahnya!.....namun kini nokhtah terhenti dengan begitu sahaja.Kepergiaannya amat menyedihkan walaupun hampir 2 bulan akan kepergiaanya.Air yang tenang begitu jernihnya sekali...Air dilaut berombak dengan alunnya menghayutkan segala kenangan manis bersama mendiang Khoo Tian Leng .segala kenangan manis bersama mendiang Khoo Tian Leng menjadi memori yang terindah.Kenangan terindah.....pahatkan didalam hati agar segalanya menjadi satu memori yang terindah.ku menyaksikan dedaun kekeringan....gugur ke bumi.....kesan tiada penyeri.....kepergiaanmu Khoo tiang leng tak akan kuleraikan sepanjang persahabatan.Ku menadah tangan dan terus berdoa agar dirimu disana tenteram dengan amannya....! 1st febuary 2008 adalah ulangtahun mendiang Khoo Tian Leng yang Ke-22.hanya.....doa mampu ku hadiahkan......

dari sahabat mu ( MOHAMAD HARRIS FASLI-SRI AMAN SARAWAK)..................

Luv & Respect

2008-01-31T22:57:00.000-08:00

Light a Candle in Loving Memory

2008-01-30T05:36:00.000-08:00

This 1st February, light a candle in loving memory of Tian Leng. He won't be celebrating 22 years of life, but we will pay respect to his 21 years of joy and laughter, of sadness and bitterness, of sorrow and fear, of pain and gain, of friendship and brotherhood.

Light a candle of love and respect this 1st February.

Love,
Hsieh May

Unsolved

2008-01-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

It was ten past 12 in the foggy n very very cold thurs mornin tat i step my foot on the ground where my beloved best buddy fell down on the 30th nite on Nov 2007. His frens in genting told me tat the weather was same on tat fateful nite and tat gav me a kinda chill tat i nv felt b4...i stood at the place lookin up at his room and started talkin to myself tat how can he climb out when it's so high!?

Mixed emotions running through my heart n soul while rememberin him..i was kinda relief tat i finally get a chance to really look at the place n understand how it all happened. At the other hand...sadness tat i cant hide frm myself n others caught me up too. No words can really describe how i feel at tat moment when i was there..cold breeze n fog sadden me more cuz it was the same when he fell. Tat was the place where his last event held.He was unconscious after the fall and he lost alot of blood there. I was imagining the whole process and it was pain and nothing else. The pain of losing such a great fren like him is hard to overcome and it still hurts whenever i think abt him. The pain may have been lessen as time pass by but the scar of tis wound could nv heal no matter how long it takes. Standin there.thinkin tat how all tis could happen to him..i felt like he was there when i looked at the place n he kinda rush me up to his room so tat i wont catch a cold standin out there too long.

So i went up into his room n chat with his room mates and the 2 china guys tat saw him last climbin out of the window from next door. No one could clearly tell me wat time did he exactly fell. The 2 china neighbours too cant remember wat time it really happened. I kinda doubt wat the china guys were telling as they were claimin tat they were using earphone playing game while Tian Leng came into their room. Apparently they said tat they din notice his presence until he was right behind them and couldn't stop him from climbin out........Wat in the world were they thinking? People came into ur room and u were unnoticed abt it? They said the door were unlocked...lights were on and were playing game..but how could u never realise tat he came in? Same reasons again...was playing game..they saw him but din spoke to him. Wish i was there to stop him...I wonder how can this 2 china guys goes to sleep e'vynite after the incident. They could've stop tis tragedy frm happenin but they were PLAYING GAME WITH EARPHONE ON.

Nothing much tat i can find out frm them...it's like they've practiced tis speech 4 quite sum time. Up til today...no one in the college can tell why he wana get back into his room after the event without his keys. NO 1. Some poeple said tat it's fate....u cant stop it from happenin. Some people said tat there was foul play...Many versions has been spread abt how he fell among those tat got to kno him. I haven't get the chance to hear other versions but when i do..i'll post it out so tat u all kno how bad it can end up to be when rumours started spreading. He fell and broke his ribs...some says tat somethin went through his lungs while he fell and it caused his lungs to malfunction. Ridiculous people with ridiculous thoughts spreadin ridiculous rumours. After asking few questions to tat china guys..after hearin all his part of the stories...was kinda speechless and sent him back to his room. Mind was constantly thinkin abt wat happen... disappointed cuz no one has the answers to all the questions i asked. All claimed tat it happen too sudden and they were shocked. Mistery still unsolved...how i wish tat Tian Leng can come into my dreams n tell me wat really happen tat nite.

A fren of mine told me tat i should juz forget abt it cuz i can never kno the truth abt wat really happen tat nite. Im not a detective nor CSI..but i can never give up askin witnesses on tat nite. I've planned for another visit and meeting more of those tat was there when it happened. The nite was still very cold n foggy when i was abt to leave from there at abt 3 am. I really miss him alot and even felt his presence during the whole visit. I kno tat he is around lookin after us all. I'll try to find out wat really happened tat nite Jack. Rest in peace bro....

Ysync

PSALM 139:7-12

2008-01-16T00:42:00.001-08:00

Where can i flee from your spirit?
where can i flee from your presence?
If i go up to the heavens,you are there;
if i make my bed in the depths you are there.
If i rise on the wings of the dawn,if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
I say, "surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day for darkness is as light to you.

PSALM 139:7-12

once in yf,pastor ask us to write this memory verse in a piece of paper.tian leng gave it to prema and she still keeps it till now.remember that god is always with you tian leng,you are not alone.
this is a memory verse 4 u tian leng.the meaning and the words just so connects to you.
just for u koh..

June

A Visit from Tian Leng

2008-01-10T05:41:00.000-08:00

I got a visit from Tian Leng. Don't remember much of the beginning. Just the part where his handphone rang. It was a call from him saying that he was home.

I was upstairs, in my room. So, I quickly ran down the stairs and stopped midway. There he was, standing by the door with tears in his eyes.

"I'm home..." he said.

As I took slow steps down, he extended his arms and reached out to me.

"No, you can't be real. I'm dreaming right? I'm still dreaming right?" I asked, and felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks.

He just gave me a weak smile.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and stood face to face with Tian Leng. He looked handsome. Healthy. No cuts or bruises or dilated pupils. Just ....... him. Just the way I remember him.

Then he held both my hands, leaned closer and gave me that trademark grin - raised eyebrows, big eyes and cheeky. Suddenly, he turned serious, looked directly into my eyes as if he was trying to say "listen to me", frowned and squeezed my hands so hard I jolted up.

It was a dream. But the numbness was real. Both my hands were numb. Very numb. I had to sit up and shake my hands until I felt the prickles of blood gushing through the veins. Then I found myself crying. It was so real. He... was so real. I hardly remember my dreams. I always forget once I wake up. But this dream .. his frown, his voice, the warmth of his hands, the hard squeeze, the brotherly love in his eyes, it was just sooo real.

When he stayed with me during his internship, I told him about waking up with numbness in my hands. I went to see a GP. He took my blood pressure and told me that it was probably due to air-conditioning. Tian Leng advised me to see doctor again because numbness is usually related to heart disease. Second doctor said I'm too young to be getting heart disease and probability of female is even lower. Tian Leng then told me that I just needed to exercise. "damn fat la you. You just need to exercise and lose weight and get better blood circulation. Else later you get diabetes then you know!"

Did he come into my dream to warn me of troubles ahead? Or was it just a visual replay of my subconscious mind? Between the logics of science and the complexities of spiritual realm, which one is real? Nonetheless, I take solace in the former and the comforting thought that he's looking down upon us, watching over us.

Maybe ... just a message from him that he's home. Always has been. Always will be.

- Hsieh May -

4 Bottles in Your Life

2008-01-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

Why I Can't Forget Him

2008-01-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

the dear frenz of the late khoo tian leng.... knowing that i was his gf... and he was the love of my life.... asked me to move on with my life and to be strong. there was one who told me to be a successful person and make him proud... well my reply to all of them is simple.... i will try my best and let time heal me.

i find it so hard to move on...
hard to forget the memories...
and the things we had and shared...
wat he did was like a routine...
i knew wat he wanted to do, before he could..
i knew wat was he gonna say before he said it...
i could read wat he was thinking at certain times....
i can still smell his sweat after futsal... or games..
i can still hear his voice.. in my heart
i can still feel him holding me at times..
i miss his kisses.. i miss his touch...
i miss his jokes... and i miss his sweet smile..

he was a person so important to me...
no one knew... who he is.. to me...
only people like his close frenz and family knew who i was..
thats how private he was...
but to me.... he is not just a boyfriend... he was a protector..
a lover .... a fren.. a counsellor... a companion.. my guide...
he was my no 1 supporter... he gave me the confidence to do anything i wanted...

when i first died my hair.. he was the one who gave me the confidence.. he said i would look like salma hayek... hehe.... well watever he say to me was a real motivation for me to strive in everything i did...

losing... losing him... was like me being in a coma state for a time being....
i couldnt think rasionally.. and i couldnt make any decisions on my own...
now my support comes from my family or sometimes my frenz...
but its not the same... he said it with lots of love and really in a deep thinking way....

i miss him lots.. as the day goes by... i miss him more.. People says that time will
heal the broken heart or the loss.. or the grieving state... but for me this is not true... not at all .... i miss him more and more as each day passes by...

im sure he wants to see me moving on... and being someone in the future...
i think i will do so.. being someone in future... but moving on... seems so hard ... i really don think thats easy.. as for me ... i really hope ... i am with him before i can move on... i wanna do the things he promised me he would.... the things he promised to do was...

1. to go to penang with me for christmas.
2. to go to australia together for our further studies
3. to give me a ring... for our engagement... was to be on the 13th october 2008... 3rd year anniversary...
4. go travelling together
5. to love me more.... give me more attention.

he was supposed to come back on the friday and see me on the saturday... but i couldnt see him or hear him... cause he was already in the hospital by then... i still find it so hard to believe he is gone.... cause i still awaits him with much enthusiasm... to hear his voice and for him to hug me... and just kiss me... or make a stupid joke...

he was my happiness... he brought laughter to my life... and he filled my life with much joy..
i was a lonely person.. with frenz only bout a number of them to go around with... but after knowing him.... his frenz were my frenz too ... the ironic part is that when he left.... he gave me his frenz... so that i wont be alone.... but its not the same... without him.... but i am grateful to have frens like this .... cause they really support u to the max.... and they are now... the reason why i stand strong today.... i cant thank him enough for bringing his frenz into my life.....

i know he is heaven shinning his light upon me... to guide me... but i pray everytime... that i would be able to meet him and be with him for eternity... and that we will be able to do the things we wanted ..... i will continue my journey on earth as he did... and i will live life to the fullest like he did.... i just want him to know.... i will never stop loving him... and he is still part of my heart and my life.... no one... no one ,.... can fill his shoes... in my life!!!

i miss u my darling tian leng... we will meet again... one fine day!! love u....

Tiada Yang Abadi

2008-01-04T15:35:00.001-08:00

I guess this is the song that would best describe all those who know Tian Leng feel now.

(I)
Bila malam datang menjelang
Terasa berat menyesakkan jiwa
Hangat bertemankan rembulan
Sendiri bertahan ....

Tiada seindah waktu itu
Kala dunia penuh dengan tawa
Tak pernah terlintas padaku
Begini akhirnya ....

Reff :
Sepi sendiri di sini
Semua telah sirna
Hanya sekejap saja
Tiada yang akan abadi
Hanya menanti sang surya
Bersinar kembali

Back to : (I), Reff

Hangat bertemankan rembulan
Sendiri bertahan

Back to : Reff

Gary

Jack

2008-01-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

Our lives are just like a written book
It has a beginning and an ending
However not all endings are the same
It can be a happy-ever-after or a tragic disaster...

On the 2nd he was born
In the spring of February in 1986
In a place called Seremban
Khoo Tian Leng he was named

How cute he was you should have saw
With That cheeky smile he has all along
Together with his mischievous attitude
He can make us laugh all day long

He was into all sorts of animals ranging from mammals to cold blooded
He also loved to fish and would find fishes everywhere even in the drains
His first interest in sports was cycling
He would cycle all around town in any weather in may be

At first he was very fat
Then somehow he started to lose weight
Into body building he was very keen
A new look he had,girls too started falling for him

He had couple of relationships but it didn’t work out well
But then a girl had him go head-over-heels
It was obvious that he was in love
Promised each other to be together forever

He transferred from Subang to Inti
Along the way great friends he met
Following the crowd affects him to change
But he is still genuine and not fake

He calls himself Jack as in of all trades?
KuKuLengLeng another name so original and unique
“Nigga” is what he is used to call his friends and adds it with a slang
Don’t you feel strange when you don’t hear that anymore?

He would always come home to Pd during weekends
To see his beloved family and friends
He would play football and badminton and even fishing
Spending time with family is also his main thing

On Sunday’s he afternoon before he leaves
He would pack his bag and from the shop he grab some things
He would say bye to us with that smile on his face
But we didn’t expect that time to be Goodbye forever

He was suppose to come back on the Friday
But he had an event to attend
He was all dressed up looking so smart
But what happened next was out of our expectations.

We got a call in the early hours of twelve
It seems that He had a fall from the third floor
It was devastating seeing him there
As we look at him,Tears started pouring

It seems that all hopes are lost
There was nothing we can do but pray
it was all in God’s hands....
it was time.....we let go....

Why didn’t he just wait?
Why did he climbed?
Why does this happen?
Why didn’t God save him?

We have so many questions in mind
But we don’t have the answer
We’re searching for the answer
But it is not there

People say things happen for a reason
Its the cycle of life
We know that we’re gonna die someday
But as for tian leng,we didn’t expect it to happen so soon

Everything he does is already like a routine to us
We know what he is about to do,We know what he is about to say
But now...
It feels awkward waiting for something you think that will happen but it isn’t

Its hard to let go...
Its hard to move on...
Its hard to face the fact...
That he is gone

But this is reality,We must go on with our lives
We must be strong and live life to the fullest
Because
Its what Tian Leng wants us to be..

june

Toast to a Beautiful Life Worth Living

2007-12-30T22:38:00.000-08:00

Remembering New Year celebrations to usher in 2007 ........

and yester years and the year that was .........

As we usher in 2008 ...

Forget not of him..... for he has reminded us of a beautiful life worth living. So keep memories of him close to the heart, but let go of the sorrow and live in the present. Be thankful for all the blessed privileges we have in our lives and make each day beautiful so that it will be worth remembering.

So here's a toast to a life of abundant joy, health, wealth and love. With new resolutions and renewed hopes and dreams, wishing everyone a fabulous 2008 and many more to come.

With Love, May and June

Missing You Right Now

2007-12-30T10:46:00.001-08:00

when i listening to this song (apologize) by one republic, tian leng face always appear in my mind. this song was the best song that represent tian leng was my GREAT FRIEND!!! is past few week since tian leng gone and i knw all his buddies still in shock and miss him a lots!

I'm thinking why he should go so early??that so many thing he didnt done yet. Why that day he should climb the wall to went to his room?why he didnt take key from his friend? why why why??? Why this should happen to him? Haiz..... Tian Leng i realy miss u!!

Whenever i open his blog, see his pic, his smile deep inside my heart i cant breath,its something chocking me. did i have to shade me tear?? Why?? Great loss of him make me speechless.
(Deep breath)..............anyway i believe tian leng was happy up there. cracking joke with the angels, running up and down the stairs with his smiling face. I think God also pusing kepala with his attitude. New year coming soon my friend, wats ur plan? sure u can see clearly the firework at genting from up there la ya.but please dont vomit cx u scared of high and if u does u making rain for us down here.

Happy New Year to you buddy! we love you very much!! I love you more! See you in the next life :)

Dennish Eyu

All I Wanted for Christmas

2007-12-30T04:04:00.001-08:00

.... was someone that Santa can't put under the Christmas tree.

Not that we have one this year anyway.

- Hsieh May -

Will u be there?

2007-12-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

Time flies, you've been gone for almost a month already.. I miss you badly. Remember how we have those so hai secrets that we share and suppose to keep to ourselves? we'll just laugh it all out, in a sudden, and ppl around us will get blur and start asking and we'll just continue laughing. I remember clearly Wai Seng always du lan with us coz we always laugh without him knowing wats happening. I've got alot more to tell u jack.. where have u gone to? why don't u appear anymore?

I know everything is different these days back there without you around.. I've been calling Wai Seng for updates and ...my predictions came true. Nothing is the same anymore..nobody is connecting ppl together. Nobody is organizing things anymore. See how much of an impact u are to them friends jack? I know you can read this, i know ur listening to my ramblings, i don't ask for much just visit me someday please? I need to talk to you. badly.

Since u've been gone, I realized that life's not that easy anymore.. I am still trying hard to adjust to life without you. I have fears, fears of heading back to PD. Fears of goin back to the places we share the most time with. Fear of facing familiar faces, fear of accepting the truth. I am terrified of not being able to spend times with you anymore when i get home.

Anyway, we'll all remember u for being the best mate u are. The great times will never be forgotten, but i need you to be with us jack. Don't forget us. Never. Don't make new frens den lupa kawan lama.

Jan 31st, on monday, ill head over to st kilda beach to have a toast with you. Nee will be the other end at pd. Will u be there?

Kwek

thanks jun jun for the picture :>

I Miss You So.....

2007-12-29T08:41:00.001-08:00

New year is around the corner.. But it had brought back fond memories of u.. A few years ago in sunshine bay i remembered Wai Seng organized a New Year Barbeque party and all of us went for it.. You came and picked me up I remember.. and u asked me if I wouldn't have come that night where would I be celebrating new year... that was so long ago.. and this time around thinking that u would not be celebrating it reli makes me feel so sad.. because u are no longer here.. There are only memories for me to live with now... memories of u....I reli wanna tell u that I miss u so muchh... my life has never been the same again... I am really happy to know u and to share some of the very fond memories with u... U will always remain in my heart for the rest of my life... peace out bro... miss you so muchhhhh...>.<

Chan Wy Yee

25

2007-12-28T23:10:00.003-08:00

Tis no has alot of meanin...in mandarin as in betray...4 christians means xmas...today is the 25th day since he left...i dono is it only me o wat...but i miss him even more as days pass by. tis is the 1st time i lost sum1 close to me. sum 1 really close n i still cant accept the fact tat he really went 1st...still remember we used to talk abt whose gettin married 1st n i always says tat he'll b the 1st to get married. i oso hope tat i could b his best man on his weddin. guess tat dream will nv come true tis life time.we oso used to talk abt whose gonna go 1st n we joked at each other tat he better give me his bike n all if he really go. cant believe tat our joke turn into reality n i wish i had nv said those things.

Kinda regret tat i din spend enough time wif him b4 he went away. last time i chill wif him was in kl n i remember tat time he was actin kinda weird but all he said was he was kinda sick. 2 weeks after tat i saw him again but tis time around...he cant even say hi. to me tis festive season is de darkest in my life yet. cant even celebrate wif a proper happy mood. sigh... jack...i miss u. u were the only tat i talk to abt football cuz we share the same passion in it. the other nite i watched alone n i thought abt u. We used to text each other n talk abt football. how ronaldo scores n how Man U played or how Liverpool gonna survive tis match n all. Tat nite i juz sat down alone n misses his msges. Feel like talkin to sum1 but who to turn to. We used to argue tat his Liverpool is the best n i'll b sayin tat my Man U is the best. Still remember b4 tis season started...we talked abt how strong Man U n Liverpool gonna be after the transfer market cuz they brought in new n young promisin talents n i told him tat Man U gonna win again but he says don ever under estimate his fav Liverpool. He din even hav the chance to witness how his Liverpool went down in front of their own fans at Anfield.

Man...miss him very vey much. his innocent face after doin stupid things to u n make u laugh. U can nv get angry at him 4 too long cuz he'll do e'vythin to make u 4giv him in a flash wif his cheeky attitude. he'll make jokes n funny faces. he was there to advise me when i face a problem.

He brings e'vy1 together whenever he's back in pd. Now pd is so quiet since he left...i hardly hang out wif my frenz cuz no 1 is connectin us together. things juz change..whether u like it or not. I miss sittin in his car tat blast music to the laudest. he'll scream if he had to talk to u rather slowin down the music. he'll ask u out to go do sum sports wif him whenver he's around. he'll ask u out 4 a drink when he's hungry o bored. he'll ask u to join him 4 a ride if he's goin up to kl or s'ban. there's always a plan whenever he's there. Snooker at a n e. yamcha at A1. Drinkin session at Sunshine Bay or Corus pool side. Dota at lukut cc. stonin e'vywhere. juz get crazy wif him. knowin tat ur always around keeps me at peace. i don think i'll b seein u anytime soon cuz I'm gonna live my life to the fullest n go c u only when my time is up k. i wish to join u now but there are things to be done...4 myself n u. Pls come visit me whenever u feel like comin k. come into my dream n talk to me. I'll appreciate it. Thank u for givin me the opportunity of being a part of ur life jack. Miss u.

yseng.

Oscar

2007-12-28T23:10:00.001-08:00

After lepak-ing with some of Tian Leng’s friend the other day, I heard many different stories bout him.what stories?well..the usual lah..all the silly things that he had done with or to his friends. Tian Leng is very different from what he is at home and when he is with his friends.but he doesn’t pretend.he is,what he is. In the house,he’ll be that sorta innocent face boy with that cheeky smile,watching tv,reading newspapers, but when he’s with his friends...its like the sky is gonna fall cuz you dunno what “BrillianT” idea they might come out and once he’s with them..he’s change into someone other than what you see in the house.he’ll be out there hanging out with his friends and having a party.For him,the Day is Night and the Night is Day.

I know that Tian Leng is a great football player.that is his most favourite sport of all.he even once told me that he came back 6 in the morning cause he was playing futsal whole night in Dataran Segar..even my youth fellowship friends said before that he can play very well. Wai Seng said that they were the best football team in pd and they named themselves Valentino.i think that this name is very one of a kind cause it sounds like a real football team in tv..he’s so hooked up in football that he would stay up the whole night just to catch an interesting game.And he would on bets with his friends.but..i dun think he’s a good better. hehe..

Know what..Oscar has been so dull and not so active since Tian Leng left.FYI,Oscar is one of our dogs. It is a shih tzu dog,we got it last year December and it is the most pampered dog among the other dogs!anyways,why do i say that he has been dull and unhappy?well..cause Tian Leng is not here anymore to play football with him and share and practice his skills with him.I tried playing football with him but i guess it aint the same as how Tian Leng plays with him.Maybe its cause i don’t have the skills that Tian Leng has..that why he’s not so passionate of playing with me.Usually when Tian Leng plays football with him,he would be like ssoooo hyperactive and chasing Tian Leng’s feet instead of the ball.hehe...and he wouldn’t give up..he would chase Tian Leng around,trying to get the ball and also to bite Tian Leng’s feet.I aint a dog so i dunno wat Oscar’s thinking..maybe he’ wondering...

“hhmmm...where’s my owner that always play football with me?where has he gone to?when is he coming back back?i hope its soon cause i cant wait to have another football game with him!”

Tian Leng likes playing with Oscar..he especially loves to tease him.tian Leng is also the expert on catching ticks for Oscar if there are and Oscar would just sit down there quietly.However there is one thing bout Oscar that he really dislike..that is when he shits or pees in the house!he’ll be like

“wahlao eh!”

The next thing you know is..

“June! or ah..May ah! or mummy...Oscar shit in the house”

He said before that if he pee its ok cuz “just take a newspaper and put it on top of the pee mah..den mop can liao.but if shit ah.walao..cannot lah..disgusting wei!” Thats why the other day i was was thinking to myself...he goes to the toilet,shit more than 1 times a day..i think max also 6 times..but he scared to wipe of Oscar shit.its the same what..juz take newspaper and wipe of the shit..not even touching it with bare hands wat..my sister asked him before he same question that i had in mind.well..what he said was...

“my shit nevermind mah!its mine..but that wan is not my shit,its oscar’s wan. yeerrrr!”

Well..sorry Oscar but i’m afraid he wont be here to play a game of football with you or catch your ticks for you anymore and he definitely doesn’t need to worry bout wiping off your pee and shit anymore. ;o)

i wonder if oscar can see him?maybe that explains why he will suddenly bark for no reason...if i can be like those people or animals like cats and dogs who can see things unordinary..if i can see Tian Leng ..i’d be like freaked out first..cuz...hehe..you know lah..scared of ghost mah..he oso like that wat..

But at the same time..i’d feel glad and happy..maybe stunned alsolah..but its a good thing to have that kinda xperience..to have that rush of adrenaline going through your body..hehe..well... i hope that the place that you are now,that you teach them your great football skills as what you had taught Oscar and your friends and carry on your amazing football spirit!! Go Liverpool!! ^,^

Luv,
June

WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!

2007-12-27T22:18:00.000-08:00

merry christmas jack!! still remember wat we did last year 4 xmas.

we went drinkin by the beach beside de luv bridge...had so much fun wif him juz by gettin drunk ...he'll force us to drink no matter how high u are. tat's jack. always there to ask u to drink wif him n u will nv get bored when he is around. he was the entertainer in the geng...always crack sum crazy jokes tat will blow ur stomach.

on xmas tis year..i went to the same place where i got drunk with him n drink wif plakas all but it was so borin n almost made me fell asleep..sorry to say tis plakas...but i really did felt tat way. o mayb i juz went wif the wrong ppl...the only person tat were talkin to me was plakas n the others were bz wif their own business...juz make me sick when i think back abt tat nite...i bet plakas will agree wif me. wat we lack there is the presence of jack!

enough abt tat nite...it was a nite to 4get...wat a WONDERFUL xmas i had tis year. sucks to the max man...i miss him dearly when i was there n juz keep drinkin hopin tat i would get drunk n get back the same joy i got last year when he was around. GOD had a BETTER plan 4 him...HELL YEAH!!!! GOD...i don believe tat crap...if there is god...y take him away? better plan? yeah rite. it sucks totally after he went away. things are not the same anymore... i miss u freakin lot jack!!!! miss e'vy single thing abt u man. really hope tat u can crack few jokes nn brighten up my day.

YSENG

A Birthday Without Him

2007-12-26T08:54:00.001-08:00

Birthdays are suppose to be joyous,happy,full of excitement and fun ryte? well...it is going to be my birthday soon,i had great fun during my birthday for the past years but this year? well...i’m not so sure..it was suppose to be the best birthday ever..but turns out it aint the great as i thought it would be. To me celebrating this kinda occasions,it is important for me that i have my most important people in my life beside me..which is my Family and Friends..Having these people in my life and to celebrate my special day means alot to me.however this year is the total opposite from what i had expected...

Few months back,my sister,Tian Leng and i were on our way back from a dinner. It was just the three of us..when suddenly my sister said something about organising a birthday party for me. i was thrilled and excited since the last one i did was when i was standard 6. At first i hesitated on whether to have it or not cause if we were to do one,it means there are alot of work to be done and we don’t even have a maid to help us out. Plus,i dun want my family to be tired and exhausted just to do this party for me. Then my sister also said that she can also add this event into her portfolio..so i thought..ok..why not? She even ask me what is the theme colour that i want for the party. Tian Leng also agreed to help with this party. He even said

“oklah..i can bring along my friends also”

“its june june’s party nothing to do with your friends also wat” my sister joked.

Even for my 12th birthday he was there to help and he brought wai seng along also. so i wouldn’t mind if he brought his friends along. As long as all of us have fun ryte? when i was younger, i would occasionally ask him about my birthday and he always forget about it and i would force him to remember it!but when he’s elder he still forgets but sometimes he was only acting that he forgets but actually he do remembers. few years back..can’t remember when..it was my birthday..

“koh koh...its my birthday today where’s my present lah?”

“hah!what day is today? today your birthday meh? i thought its later somemore?”

“nolah!! 2day is 27th dec lah!”

“ya oh.. *grins*”

“so...where's my present?! Eh?Where you going?”

“upstairs bathe la..wanna go see my friends liao”

Then off he went on his bike to meet his friends. i remembered i even nearly cried that he said that he forgot my birthday and he didn’t even bought a present for me! then he came back in the evening..i was still kinda pissed and sad.he didn’t say anything to me also just sit on the chair watch tv. then he took something that looks like a box out of his pocket but he realised that he took out the wrong thing and quickly put it back in. i saw what he did and i asked him

“whats that?”

“nothinglah”

“tell me lah whats that? i know i saw something. take out,i wanna see!”

“haiya..that one for my gf wanlah.”

But i didn’t give up..i keep asking him and i could see him grinning. i tried to take it from him but he was too fast for me so he dashed upstairs, lock the room.well..that time still small girl..i just believed whatever he said. then by night,when i blowed th candles of the cake,he gave me that box..it was white,i opened it. it was a blue cross necklace..then only i realised that the box that he was holding just now was for me..i was so happy..hehe..practically went telling my friends that my brother gave me that necklace.

When he was younger and i was even younger,he sometimes would hit me. it was very painful and i would start crying nonstop and he would scold me asking me to stop crying. I was also very scared if he raised his voice. back during those times,i would think that he doesn’t love me..he hates me .As time passes by,we grow older i know that actually he does care about me. Tian Leng doesn’t like it when my dad says things that he doesn’t like to hear and sometimes he would get impatient and will sound annoyed but he still controls himself to not have a fight with my dad. Sometimes when my mom and sister lectures him,he might feel that its disturbing and would put on a blank face and turn a deaf ear but actually he does listens. sometimes,he will have fights with prema and would say things that are hurtful and break up but after sometime to settle down he would tell her that he loves her very much and patch things up. his friends are a big part of his life. he’s always to back up his friends if they are in any sort of trouble. Tian Leng is definitely NOT a self-centred person, he puts his family and friends in front of him.

Sometimes we might think that he doesn’t care or love us cause his actions doesn’t show us that he cares but sometimes his actions and words show us that he does care about us. actually deep down inside he always does. Its just that he doesn’t shows it. Now, He’s just like the wind..he’s around us, he’s looking upon us, his love is ther... we can’t see it...we just can feel it. He will always be a part of our lives, in every step of our lives he will be there for us...side by side...he will still carry each and everyone of us in his heart forever......

JunJune

Boston

2007-12-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

Jack, I remember i kept playing this song last time when I was back. When you were in my car, i think u listened to it 100000 times already. Haha after reading jun's post, only I know that u actually liked it too. Good times :>

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

You don't know me, you don't even care...

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

Love,

Kwek

My Guardian Angel

2007-12-23T09:16:00.000-08:00

It has been like...wat..? 3 weeks? since you left us..it seems like the days pass by so slowly when you are not around.i miss those cackling laughter that u make..that cheeky smile and all those stupid yet funny jokes that u always make..its sounds so stupid that it makes everyone of us laugh.yeap..i really miss those times.

I also miss the times when you’d knock on my room door and ask me to open the door quickly as though there was something very important.. when I open the door,you would just barge in and then stand in front of my mirror.And i was like...

”err...don’t you have a mirror in your room?”

And you replied “your mirror bigger mah!”

And I would just smile at you...and then sometimes you will ask me questions like..

“eh, how ah this wan ok ah? I look better in this wan or just now that shirt?”

Sometimes I would give my opinion but sometimes before I could say anything you would say

“nolah,i think just now i wear that shirt better..this wan look damn gay ryte?”

And i would just agree and say yalor yalor..

There are many things that you do would make ppl laugh a Thousand miles..such as that crazy crazy and so-hai face that you make when you sing a song... your voice may not be as great as those of what you hear in American Idol and it also may go out of tune, but it definitely is the sweetest.

Since you left, your stuff such as the laptop is mine already.... I promise that I will take good care of it. So as your handphone and simcard. Mom say that she’ll still top up RM10 for you every month. Don’t worry cuz I will treasure it and keep it safe. There’s still the song Boston by Augustana in it. That time you really really love that song and you asked me whether i have it so i Bluetooth it to you. That time you were so blur.. I send to you already but you keep telling me that you check it already and haven’t receive it. I send again several times but your phone says cannot receive pulak. So you said... “oh,lidat ah..nevermind lorr..”

Mana tau when I was going through your phone. That song was inside there pulak. I told you and you were like.. “oh ya ahh??hehehe...oklor..”

This is a very peaceful and dream like song.You asked me whether i knew how to play that song on the piano anot..that time i said i dunno.then i asked my friend to teach and give me the chords.i finally got it right and i wanted to play it for you but i guessed i didn’t had the chance to do so.i also learned to play your favourite song during YF.”The Illusive Dream”.so everytime when i miss you or feel like talking to you i would play these songs.

That day i had a dream about you ler!!it wa the kinda dream that is kinda funny and weird to me la..it was like this..i was at this place(i dunno where also) with tables and long chairs..prema,wai seng were there and some of my friends were there also..after talkin to my friend i went to your table where prema and wai seng were there.after curi-ing something to eat from wais eng,you called me and walking away from the crowd.you looked serious and you whispered something to me.you were asking me about something..then when i told you the story,you realized that it was just a rumour spreaded by some gal.you got really angry and you yelled at her.telling her never ever say those kinda things bout me and simply spreading things that are not true.that gal got so palat dy so she just didn’t say anything and sat down there..

You looked very serious in my dreams,i got scared and i thought that you were gonna scold me.but instead you trusted me.i was very touched and happy when i woke up the next morning.cuz its like you are still here,doin your job as a great big bro, looking over your lil’ mui mui,its like you are watching my back,taking care of Me.

After that dream it felt to me like although your not here but you are my guardian angel,still and always protecting me.i thank you for all the love and care that you had given to me for no one can ever replace that brotherly love that you had given to me.

Jun Jun

Memories

2007-12-23T09:15:00.002-08:00

It's exactly three weeks last night when you had your fall and I remembered the wee hours morning call that I got from 'Uncle Rashid' the guy in charge of accommodations. He called me at 3.00 am and said"Puan, Khoo jatuh dari tingkat tiga" I was shocked to get that call and I asked him"Khoo tian Lengkah?" "Ya Puan, minta maaf menggangu puan" was what he said. My husband who had just come up to sleep after watching t.v asked me what was it and I told him that tian leng had fallen he quickly called my daughter Charmaine who was tian leng's batch in school and his senior in college and told her about it.Our first thought that he and his room-mates were fooling around in his room and somehow or other had fallen from the window. I called Rashid again and asked him how bad he said,"Puan doalah, teruk sangat. From that moment I could not sleep and I know both my children too were effected by the news. I prayed asking the Lord to save him. At 7am my son gets a message that he is really bad. I waited till 8.00am when I called on my prayer group to pray for him. I spent the whole day praying begging God to work a miracle. On Sunday when I was in church I got another message that he was bad I broke down and asked the Lord why. Still I did not give up hope thinking that the Lord will answer our prayers as there were so many people praying for him. I even emailed my cousin in the US to pray for him and on the net Parents who pray pleading for all to pray for him.When my children and I went to the hospital to see him and I spoke to him telling him that many of us were there waiting for him and I was hoping that by speaking to him he would fight and come out of it but God had a better plan for him.

Tian Leng had something about him that when anyone who came in contact with him will sort of get hooked on him.There was something infectious about him. I only knew of him through my daughter who use to talk about him from school and he had this bad habit of passing my house on Saturday nights in his parent's jeep and shouting out my daughter's name. He had been to our home for christmas but he was shy. When I went to college to lecture at the begining of this year he was sitting for his 3rd semester exam and was going out for his industrial training. I only had two classes with him before his death. I still remember his first class, after his class he asked me what Charmaine was doing and where was she going to do her degree? I told him Australia and he asked me about the cost.

I remember the Monday morning when Shaun came pass my office at 9.45 as I was getting ready to go to tian leng's for my lecture and he just said Gone. I broke down and also had to be the bearer of the bad news to all his friends.

Till today I'm finding it difficult to accpet his death I find it difficult to go to his class and believe it or not my children and I just don't feel like celebrating Christmas as it will remind us of tian leng. He had told Charmaine a few days before he fell that he will be coming for Christmas to our house.

Well tian leng we won't have the pleasure of having u with us but u will always be in our hearts.

Ms Maureen

You Coloured the Sky :)

2007-12-20T08:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Tian Leng,

I wish u well up there. I knew you painted it so soothingly beautiful. I know you were the one who answered Prema with a shooting star. We miss your presence, but we all know ur around us, always.

I know u coloured the skies too :)

There's traffic in the sky
and it doesn't seem to be getting much better
There's kids playing games on the pavement
Drawing waves on the pavement
mm hm
Shadows of the planes on the pavement
mm hm
It's enough to make me cry
But that don't seem like it could make it feel better
Maybe it's a dream and if I scream
it will burst at the seams and
this whole place will fall into pieces
and then they'd say...

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's not so hard to tell
na na na
if you keep adding stones
soon the water will be lost in the well
mm hm

Puzzle pieces in the ground
but no one ever seems to be digging
Instead they're looking up towards the heavens
with their eyes on the heavens
mm hm
the shadows on the way to the heavens
mm hm
It's enough to make me cry
but that don't seem like it would make it feel better
The answers could be found
we could learn from digging down
but no one ever seems to be digging
instead they'll say...

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's not so hard to tell
na na na
if you keep adding stones
soon the water will be lost in the well
mm hmmm

Words of wisdom all around
but no one ever seems to listen
They talk about their plans on the paper
Building up from the pavement
mm hm
there're shadows from the scrapers on the pavement
mm hm
It's enough to make me sigh
but that don't seem like it would make it feel better
The words are all around
but the words are only sounds
and no one ever seems to listen
Instead they'll say...

Well how could we have known?
I'll tell them it's really not so hard to tell
na na na
If you keep adding stones
soon the water will be lost in the well
lost in the well
mm mm mm

- Jack Johnson - Traffic in they Sky -

this song reminds me of you so much

love,
kwek

Reminiscing Childhood Moments

2007-12-18T17:54:00.000-08:00

Dearest Tian Leng

Even though you’ve been gone 15 days, the pain of losing you and seeing you lying on the hospital bed is still fresh in my mind. I have never ever felt as helpless in my life as I watched you lie on the hospital bed. I pleaded with God to show some pity and mercy and let you live but God, for His own reason, did not answer our prayers.

I remembered you, Hsieh May, Cici and I playing around grandfather’s hotel compartment in PD. The hotel was on a huge lot with loads of rooms to hide so, we used to play hide and seek, with you and Cici pairing together and Hsieh May and I another team. And we also spent some of our school holidays going up to Genting. Just the other day I was reminiscing on old times and I flicked through some of the pics taken during our holiday to Genting.

You have grown up from a cute little boy to a handsome, strapping young lad and even though we are grieving that the Lord has taken you away at such a tender age, I know that this is only a temporary separation and that God has always the best plans for us. So, even though, we all miss you very very much, by God’s grace, we will all meet again and this time, never to be separated.

Missing you

Rest in peace

With love

Nini and Cici

Best Trainee

2007-12-17T17:24:00.000-08:00

Rest In Peace my friend..Khoo was the best trainee that i ever had..fast learner and never complaint anything..it was such a wonderful to know u...may GOD be with you...

Blasius Hendrikus

The Spirit Carries On...

2007-12-17T12:59:00.000-08:00

“Do you notice that nice people alwiz die first?” Tian Leng asked me.

“I think how a person dies has to do with how he lived his life,” he said.

“But they don’t suffer. Maybe just for a short while-la. But they don’t suffer,” he continued.

“See, like Galvin’s father. Nice man wat. Dunno why so fast.”

“But those bad people ah…sure suffer damn long one. Or they live but cacat-ed u know….. I think God is fair.”

Sometimes this boy will just catch you off guard with deep conversations like this.

I know you're in a much better place now. At least, you didn’t suffer for long too. God has better plans for you. The Spirit carries on…. but you will always be remembered.

Love,

Hsieh May

P.S.: Thanks Kwek for this song.

AH PEK !!!

2007-12-16T08:18:00.001-08:00

Ah Pek..wat if u din live by ur ego n called Inder to get the keys when he was downstairs..
wat if u din climb out of the window n wait 4 the keys?
wat if u din go 4 de event n went back to pd strait?

wat if u were sent to the private instead of the stupid HKL?

there's juz too many questions playin in my mind when i heard tat u finally went away on the coldest monday mornin of my life... y u left us? y u chose to b a hero n tried to climb? y din u call o msg o even walk down to get ur keys? y?

Too many questions to b answered frm u but u couldn't speak when we saw u lyin on the hospital bed bleedin non stop...

It was heart breakin news when i found out tat u were in critical condition from prema while we were playin dota tat nite... things will nv b the same with out u around.. but tat's juz the way it is.. till today im still thinkin tat u would juz msg me n ask me out 4 a drink o snooker o futsal..

u left in a tragic way where no 1 could've accept tat ur gone.. wat abt ur dreams of goin to work s flight attendent in emirates? wat abt goin overseas to further ur studies? we hardly meet 4 the past few weeks n u juz went with out even sayin bye. there's so much memories tat u left behind b it sweet o bitter.

the last shit we got into together was in seremban when ur tyres went flat near the hospital. we couldn't get it changed n we called e'vy1 tat we knew to help out but only kok siang came to rescue us tat nite at 3am. I 1st met u in standard 4 when u called urself bruce lee rite infront of me wif tat round face of urs.

ur still the ah pek to me. 1 n only. we grew up together through tis 11 years doin all the things tat can b done s frens...

I do remember tat we used to climb up to the highest floors of all the hotels in pd n take a look at the place we live from above. everywhere i go in pd hav different memories abt us. sum ppl even asked whether r we brothers cuz they said tat we kinda look alike. funny thing is tat good ppl always go b4 the bad 1s.

I'll be missing u my fren. u hav too many best frens n im proud to be 1 of them. i'll c u when i get there jack. tk care of urself nigga n don worry abt us here. i'll visit ur family whenever i can even though i've shifted to puchong n i'll live a better life. -to be continued-

ur pu boh seng.

Sesuatu yang tak Disangka

2007-12-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

Sesuatu yang tak disangka sering kali mendatangi kita,
itukah suratan dalam kehidupan atau sekadar satu kebetulan....
kita asyik membicarakan persoalan hidup dan pilihan serta kejujuran semakin berkurang...
masih tiada bertemu jawapan......
walau kita dihadapkan dengan pelbagai pilihan.....
Mengapa sering terjadi pilihan tak menepati.....
hingga amat menakutkan menghadapi masa depan......
seolah telah terhapus sebuah kehidupan yang kudus.

Sesuatu yang tak disangka......seringkali bukan pilihan sendiri.
Namun diriku akur dengan kehendak illahi.
Sebelum kata-kata dipanjangkan,terlebih dahulu saya dan keluarga serta rakan-rakan(palace of the golden horses) mengucap takziah pada sekeluarga KHOO TIAN LENG.
Laut yang biru berombak dengan tenang..........
Sedih dihati tidak begitu tenang...
Hanya berserah pada illahi apa kehendaknya........
Pena kata-kata akan meneruskan penceritaan kisah jalan kehidupan KHOO TIAN LENG di palace of the golden horses......

Hari pertama melangkah ke palace of the golden horses (training) senyumannya lebar kerana tanda kegembiraan dapat menemui sahabat baru. Tidak pernah terjumpa akan senyuman KHOO TIAN LENG yang tidak kedekut memberi senyuman bila berjumpa. Senyumannya membuat hati seseorang itu tenang. Lokasi pertama yang dijejaki Khoo Tian Leng di tempat yang amat diminatinya ialah CAFEHOUSE CAROUSEL RESTAURANT. Itulah satu-satunya tempat yang dia suka dari outlet lain.Bila terasa bosan di outlet lain dia pasti akan bertandang ke Carousel Restaurant. Memang tak dapat dinafikan cafehouse carousel restaurant adalah satu-satunya tempat dia bergurau dan berperang dengan sahabat. Malah dia begitu amat friendly. Tak hairanlah dia begitu ramai sahabat. Sewaktu training di cafehouse (carousel), dia tak pernah megeluh malah dia lebih cergas apa kerja yang diberi. Malah dia tak pernah melawan kata-kata.

Banyak kenangan manis tak dapat dilupakan semasa bersama dengan Khoo Tian Leng. Khoo seorang yang menepati pada janjinya. Apa yang kita ajar secara automatik dia cepat menangkap. Ada sekali saya bertanyakan pada dia."how ur training?"jawapan yang di beri amat simple saja....."I like". Setiap kali datang tempat kerja (carousel restaurant)dia tak pernah lewat walaupun seminit. Bila tiba saja OFF DAY ,dia begitu amat gembira. Kadangkala bila tiba saja off day dia akan balik ke Port Dickson. Disitulah satu-satunya istananya kerana dapat bertemu dengan ayah,ibu dan adik tercinta. Khoo Tian Leng anak yang kedua yang lahir pada 1 Febuari 1986(seremban). Sewaktu training di palace of golden horses ,Khoo tian leng tinggal bersama kakaknya. Khoo Tian leng traning di cafehouse selama 2 bulan. Bila habis training di cafehouse, berat hati nak melepas,kerana dia seorang yang baik hati dan budi amat sukar kita tafsirkan. Seterusnya Khoo Tian Leng meneruskan training di kin ma (chinese restaurant), Room Service, Housekeeping dan Front Office.

Hari terakhir Khoo Tian Leng di palace af Golden Horses pada 14 Julai 2007. Pada tarikh tersebut juga adalah yang amat ditunggu-tunggu.Kerana tarikh itu tidak dapat dilupakan pada dirinya, kerana Khoo tian Leng ada berkata...Tarikh tersebut adalah hari ulangtahun lahir ibunya. Itulah kasih sayang anak yang tak pernah melupakan ibu tersayang. Sewaktu hari terakhir training di palace of golden horses, tiada kata apa-apa pun pada sesiapa. Kerana dia tak ingin sahabatnya sedih. Setelah habis training di palace of golden horses,Khoo Tian Leng juga ada berkata akan berkerja permanent di cafehouse setelah selesainya belajar di kolej Genting. Itulah janjinya.

Walaupun lama tak jumpa Khoo Tian Leng, hanya telefon bimbit menjadi perhubungan kerana susah untuk jumpa sahabat yang mengerti akan perasaan seseorang. Khoo Tian Leng bukan seorang yang melupakan sahabat. Malah dia bukan seorang yang sombong. Sewaktu di palace of golden horses, waktu time break di cafestaff, makanan kegemaran yang amat digemari nya adalah buah betik dan salad. Itulah menu paling digemarinya. SABAH adalah satu destinasi yang dinanti-nanti Khoo Tian Leng pada tahun depan 2008, kerana dia berhasrat akan ke sabah untuk mendaki gunung Kinabalu.

Keinginannya tidak kesampaian. Hati siapa yang tak pilu .......kerana Khoo Tian Leng seorang yang amat lasak dalam bersukan. Bermacam sukan yang digemarinya. Khoo Tian Leng seorang yang sihat dan cergas. Walaupun Khoo Tian Leng pergi begitu sahaja namun budi hati nya akan dikenang selama-lamanya. Memang sukar untuk meneriama kenyataan sebenar. Airmata bercucuran dipipi apabila mendengar khabar yang tidak sebaik pada 30 nov 2007. 30 nov 2007 merupakan kejadian buruk yang menimpa pada Khoo Tian Leng. Pada 3 disember 2007 adalah hari terakhir Khoo Tian Leng menghembus nafasnya dan meninggalkan kita. Kerana sayang TUHAN ........aku pasrah akan ketentuannya. Hanya doa pegubat rindu.........

Dari sahabat mu
Mohamad Harris fasli Bin Ahmad (Sarawak)..........................!!!!!

You are the Man!

2007-12-14T14:34:00.001-08:00

Khoo Tian Leng my BEST FRIEND i ever have!! what should write more bout him.......?? Great lost of him make me speechless!! we use to do stupid thing whn he still around us. For me he is truly amazing person. The day whn he walk off of our life actually i dont believe cx i think he strong to fight for his life but unfortunately i'm wrong. Deep inside my heart i love him so much!!
Every day i keep thinking of his face, his laugh and his funny smile. I still cant take it that he has gone to The Mightiest,is out of my mind!! I believed he still here,he always still with us!! ppl will i stupid and bullshitter but for me Tain Leng still near to us and i'm sure he will create thousand of joke to us whn he see us.

He is amazing man!! You Are The Man my friend!! My prayer for u will never end!! Rest In Peace! Dont be naughty and playfull! You will always in my heart!! Love you forever my beloved my friend Khoo Tian Leng!!

Dennish Eyu

Dear tian leng

2007-12-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

Ten days have gone by.. I wonder how are you doing over there? I still have dreams of riding with you on our mountain bikes Tian Leng, hope you havent forgotten our deal? When I look back at the testis written for you and the pictures posted on this page, I am really proud of you dawg. You're officially a legend. Who lives on forever.

I dedicate this song to you tian leng. And I want you to know, that no matter what happens in the future, you'll always be my best mate, and I know you're living forever in our hearts.

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say, life is too short,
The here and the now
And youre only given one shot
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that weve got?

If I die tomorrow
Id be allright
Because I believe
That after were gone
The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
Im not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

If I die tomorrow
Id be allright
Because I believe
That after were gone
The spirit carries on

Move on, be brave
Dont weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear

Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victorias real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that Im here
Its perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

If I die tomorrow
Id be allright
Because I believe
That after were gone
The spirit carries on

Tian Leng,
You are once again surrounded by a brilliant white light. allow the light to lead you away from your past and into this lifetime. as the light dissipates you will slowly fade back into con
Sness remembering all you have learned. when I tell you to open your eyes you will return to the present, feeling peaceful and refreshed. open your eyes, my friend.

Love,

Kwek

Takziah

2007-12-12T09:43:00.000-08:00

Saya serta keluarga ingin mengucap takziah pada keluarga Khoo Tian Leng.

-Mohamad Harris Fasli Harris-
Kawan sekerja dari Palace of Golden Horses

Sincere Thank You from the Family

2007-12-11T02:03:00.000-08:00

We would like to extend our THANK YOUs to everyone out there who has supported Tian Leng and his family during this trying period. We would like to acknowledge and thank (in no particular order):-

Full post here --> http://natashakhoo.com/

Rest in Peace

2007-12-11T01:00:00.000-08:00

Excerpts taken from Josephine's blog

Last Friday night,my college had any event organized by batch 18 students...

I didn't went for the event although i wanted too.. Because I was having my Fnb service practical. After the event finished,something terrible had happen. I only get to know it the next day.One of my senior (Senior Khoo Tian Leng) wanted to get into his room but he forgotten his key.. So he went to the next room and climb the window to get into his room. Unfortunately, while he was climbing, he lost his balance and fall down from 3rd floor.(His room is located on the 3rd floor), Many people rush to see what have happen cause they say he did scream.

I didn't hear the scream although my room is not fair from the place where he fall,because i was busy doing my assignment with the earphones plugged in my ears. After that,the senior was rushed to the hospital.Next day, news spread very fast. Everyone in the college knew about it,and everyone keep praying and hoping that he will be alright.Yesterday, i just know that he is in a coma state. Heard from my friend that after he was being hospitalized he was in coma.

This morning, we all go to class as usual. Before our lesson starts, our lecturer Mr.Fadzil, ask all of my batch to said a prayer to God to bless our senior and hope he get well soon. After 45 minutes our class starts, we were all interrupted by Ms. Dorothy.I don't know what she was discussing with Mr. Fadzil about,because both of them are talking outside the classroom. After a few minutes, Mr.Fadzil returned back into the classroom. He said" Aiya, Ms Dorothy spoilt my mood only".Then, i guess that something bad happen, but i didn't foresee that something worst will happen next. After that ,Mr.Fadzil continue his lessons and told us when he was still an apprentice. After a few minutes of having a good laugh with Mr.Fadzil, Ms Melissa interrupt our class. Mr.Fadzil went out, and he returned back to the classroom quite fast. This time,He said "Guys, I have a bad news for you. Your senior just passed away. So i have to go n visit him and I will see you in the next class." I could see that his eyes are red and wet.After that, he just walk out of the room.

All class are dismissed , Lots of girls in my batch cried after hearing the news.I think that it is a waste, cause my senior will be graduating in a few months.Although i feel quite sad,but i think that i have to move on with my life. I may not know who is this senior, but i will still pray for him. I may be sad but i don't think that i should saw the whole world that i am.It's not selfish, but it is making me stronger by not crying.(This is dedicated to Senior Khoo)

Dearest Senior,

You may not know me, and i may not know you.

But definately, i knew that you exist in this world before.

Hope that you will have a better life in the other world.

We will all remember you.

Rest In Peace.

May the Angels up there protect and take care of you.

ope you are happy there.And I also hope that when you are reborn back, you will be reborn in a better place, better time and in a better life than your previous life.

God Bless.

May peace be upon you.* Rest In Peace*

With Love,Josephine Ong

Testi by Adrian Wong

2007-12-10T12:48:00.000-08:00

Sorry i just heard about your news yesterday

Tian Leng was one of my most dearest friends and knowing what happen really devastated me. He was always enjoying himself , not in a selfish manner but constantly making people around him smile . He was shy but playful at the same time , bringing joy to everyone with his bubbly attitude .

You will always be in our hearts and hopefully you may rest in peace. Always treated you like a brother and always will have.

Thank you for the joyous moments you brought in to my life and many others . You will be deeply missed.

Adrian Wong

My Darling Tian Leng

2007-12-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

hi, im prema rachel. i would like to share a little on my dearest darling tian leng.

we met around september 2005 in subang when he was there and i was doing my nursing course. we would go on a date and he was such a shy guy that he would always bring his frenz along so that they can come up with something to start a conversation. i remembered one of the first was Galvin in mcD's. he was so shy, perspiring to the max, cold and clammy hands. he forced Galvin to start a conversation but i still was more interested in wat he had to say. after some time, when we got closer, he used to come to my condominium ( hostel) , just to chill with me. he had no transport so he always took a cab. we would go for a walk and end up at the park. we used to chill and talk alot!! well i will be talking alot!! when he first kissed me..... he cracked a joke after... saying he is not good at it.. i smiled and said u r doing fine.... hehe :)

after sometime, i got to know his subang frenz aka The BC's and they were all lovely ppl. i was so happy to hang out with them.. we hung out together almost everyday!!

tian leng and me.... and always good times.. we had our ups and downs.... but eventually we will still make up.. and be happy together.... his subang frenz always say we look good together... he would just smile...

slowly he took me to meet his family, and till today i am grateful to know them... they r my second family now... they were there for me all the time... through thick and thin especially his loving mum. his family,from his dad till his younger sister are all so nice ppl.

i remembered once tian leng told me to help hsieh may on an event and we were supposed to wear black pants, but i had only a black skirt...... he saw me and said " DAMN!!! i think the guys will have their tongues out!! I got to make sure im with u!! " he is so funny!!

when we were together we had more arguements rather than sweet moments but when we do have sweet moments its just so unforgettable..... i miss him dearly i miss the times we shared together. just missed being in ur arms and just being cuddled. loved and being ur gal!!

i remembered i asked u once when will u marry me ... u said we have a long way to go... and i just smiled.... and then that night u mesaged me this" go ahead and be angry for my love will never end for you do watever u wantsay watever u like but i will never stop loving you for sure!! "

well i just knew he was a keeper... i told him i was never so serious in any relationships and i took him seriously and that i would bring it as far as possible..... he said " darling the reason why we r together is becoz u tolerate with my behaviour and watever i do.... thats why we r together..." then i said.... i can tolerate cause i understand u and i love u lots... he replied saying " yup, no one understands me better than u!! "

my dearest darling eventhough we only had 2 years 1 month and 20 days together , my count will never stop... i know u r with me ... and i know one sweet day i will meet u at that beautiful shore where u r now ... happily swimming and fishing freely.... without worries... smilling!!! i cant wait till we meet again..... my darling!

i just wanna thank u for the moments and memories we had.. and for ur love!! u are a real loving guy and i was lucky to have known u!!! my dear.....

your rusa, prema rachel :)

A Lovable Idiot

2007-12-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

Tian Leng's an idiot, and I mean that in a good way. I'm sure that he has made all of us laugh with tears in our eyes with his silly sense of humour.

Sigh... the world seems a bit duller without you around mate.

A toast to the Sky Dragon. He's probably up there somewhere looking down and cracking jokes and making St. Peter rofl.

cheng loon

cool picture

2007-12-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

the picture of u posing with the orange underwear on proved to me that you're not a fei zai anymore. very impressive ah.. not bad.. got muscle weh.. mo lam loo...

Testi #22

2007-12-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

Yo man... why so early??? There are loads of things that i wanna tell after I come back from UK... cars... bicycles... every time I see a cyclist with a trek bike, the first thing that comes to me is you...

I remember all the things I have done together with you and will never forget about it... you have always been my idol since the day I know you... I get to know lots of things from you.. fishing... basketball... cycling... everything man... eventhough we have not get in touch much these few years but still I always care for you... you know what happened right???

You will always be my best friend and no one will ever take your place... miss you and love you... see you bro...

Allan

A Tribute to a Wonderful Friend

2007-12-07T19:54:00.001-08:00

i still can't believe that you're gone.

it's hard to describe how you and i both relate. sometimes, i consider it as the wonders of port dickson... like to me, u will always be there.

i guess i can say we;ve grown up together.. we all have, haven't we? the youth of port dickson.. the bond have always been there. it's just that, it never did cross my mind that someday.. as soon as now.. u will be gone..

we went to church together.. share the same bunch of friends.. same school.. same whatsoever.. and funny, even with so many things in common, we were merely just acquaintance. every time we meet.. we would greet each other shyly and as though we've only met for the very first time..

i see u whenever u'd drive ur 3331 pajero to my house and call my brother out..
i see u whenever kun is back.. and we would hang out till the wee hours of the morning.. eating wan tan mee..
i see u whenever we travel back and forth subang with kun.. and how both u and kun would just crack me up big time and made me swear over and over again that you both were the most hilarious yet compatible pair of best friends i've ever come across..
i see u whenever we would hang out by the beach.. chilling and drinking.. and talking cock..
i see u whenever i hear the jay chow song that both u and kun kept raving about once upon a time..
i see u everywhere..... and always cos u're the closest friend to both my brother and my bestest friend. both very important person in my life...

and suddenly, you expect me to believe that you're gone?

i don't know why it hurts this much.. maybe u've become a favorite friend of mine sub consciously.. i dunno...

ever since i was admitted to the hospital, until today,i've been silently praying for u..... i thought we could both work our ways out.. i'm sorry that my body fails me jack.. which was why i didn't even have a proper chance to say goodbye...

i wish i could've been there for you...
just like how u did when i had an accident months ago.. and cracked some stupid joke about morphin or something wtf.. i knew u were trying to make me feel better and it really did...
and just like how u will always be there.. albeit in silence...

its only memories now... memories of how great of a friend u were, how funny of a joker u've always been... how everybody just loves to have u around... i know how devastated my brother had been... and how lost my best friend kun were for the past couple of days... this is how much you're loved jack, do u know?

deep down inside, i know u'd continue to live in our memories... and i know u will ALWAYS be there....

and FOR THAT, jack, just wanna say that you will be deeply missed...

MAY YOU REST IN PEACE!

Chean Nee

Remember How We Used to Laugh to This?

2007-12-07T19:47:00.000-08:00

i remember how u laughed when the #@#$#@$%$# part came.
when i listen to this song, it's like ur there..next to me.

Goodbye and Rest in Peace Bro

2007-12-07T19:30:00.001-08:00

kukulengleng is the epitome of fun,joy and laughter.
rest in peace bro.
till we meet again..
-cara.MON-tay-, as how u called me.

chia yi chin

Do You Still Remember?

2007-12-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

I remember we took this way back in 2004 during Christmas period wei. Christmas is around the corner, how are u preparing yourself with the angels?

The Illusive Dream

2007-12-07T09:09:00.001-08:00

Tian Leng's fav song at Youth Fellowship, which is also the theme song during the memorial service.

Where might you be going this fine day my friend?
Off along an aimless road that soon must end
Chasing an illusive dream that shines so fair
But when found isn't there.

I can understand your weary sigh, my friend
There but for the grace of God go I, my friend
Come, and let Him lead you to your journey's end
Oh, come along and walk with him.

If without the Grace of God your life should end
And before the face of God you'd stand, my friend
What would your illusive dream avail you then?
So, come along and walk with Him.

My Brother, My Friend

2007-12-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

A revised version of my speech.

Tian Leng, or more fondly known as Jack among his friends, was born on the 1st of February, 1986. With similar characteristics to the mythical dragon, Tian Leng, which means “Sky Dragon” in Chinese, was adventurous, always unpredictable, sometime uncontrollable, intelligent, trust-worthy and a strong protector of his family, friends and loved ones. I used to tell him, “you’re a sky dragon born in the year of tiger. You have a very strong name. You’ll do great things in future.”

Many of you wouldn’t know. But his favourite comics weren’t Superman, or Spiderman or any of those action heroes. He grew up reading Doraemon. He had a whole collection of them and sometimes, watched it on RTM 1, even in high school. He probably wouldn’t tell you because it’s not very cool. He was rather fat during his childhood days. Some aunties in PD town used to call him ‘tua pui’.

Maybe that was what prompted him to go on a diet. He used to starve himself with just tomato and cucumber sandwich for dinner. He was so determined, so much so that he lost so much weight and everyone had a shock.

That is Tian Leng. If he was passionate about something, he would buy magazines and books on that particular subject and master it. So for example when he was body-building himself, he bought tonnes of body-building magazines. He had posters of Bruce Lee and The Rock, and really thick autobiography of Arnold Schzernegger.

He and I fought a lot when we were young. I remember this one time where the fight got so bad, I slapped him and he punched me so hard in the stomach. Then we looked at each other for a few seconds, and we both started crying. As we are much older now, he was, still is, my best supporter in whatever that I do. He was always there for me without much question. The last event he helped me out with was 2-3 weeks ago. He did all of the heavy-lifting and asked me if he could use my things for his college events. He then said, "Eh, sis, event over liau yo. Let's celebrate" and brought 3 glasses of champagne. This is my one and only latest shot with him, celebrating with champagne after the event.

His first sport was sailing. But he wasn’t passionate about it. During that time, instead of breaking wind, he looked down into the water and searched for turtles and fishes. So, that led to his other passion – fishing. After dad bought him his first two wheeled bicycle, he would cycle off on his own around town with his fishing rod. Sometimes making new friends with old uncles sitting by the harbour in town. So from there, he learnt a few tricks or two about fishes and fishing. He was rebellious. I was told that it runs in the Khoo family. We never knew of his whereabouts but he was always home for dinner because that was the time that mom and dad would be home. He also took badminton lessons and swimming lessons, and represented school in these two sports. Tried tennis, but didn’t like it. He was already very enterprising even in primary school. Because of his interest in fishes, he would cycle alone to the pet shop. He would buy birds, and mark up a few cents and sold them to his friends. He then used the money to buy fish. His first pet fish died the second day. Then he bought a few more and they all died. But after many trials and error, his best pet the Arowana, grew into a beautiful fish, and he sold it after many years for about RM2,000. Among his many experiments, he also tried to rear birds, cats, hamsters, rooster and even goose. The goose was…a nightmare. He suggested snake thereafter and we put a stop to it! He was really the person to speak to if you wanted to open a pet shop. He grew up watching National Geographic and Discovery channel before football and ESPN took over.

He wasn’t the brightest student in class, but he was well known among his teachers because of his cheeky, playful yet lovable nature. There was one time, where Tian Leng got angry with a girl who apparently back-stabbed him. So he and his partner-in-crime, Wai Seng, put glue on her chair and she sat down on it. This was in high school. They were both severely punished by the discipline master. When my dad was called in by the discipline master; he also didn’t know whether to scold him or to laugh.

Finding a balance between studies, sports and curriculum, Tian Leng was also the Vice President of Leo Club, and represented PD high school in swimming, cycling and cross-country running. In college, he became active in football, futsal and basketball. I was told that he also played squash in Genting. So, I guess you can say that Jack is really Jack of all trades! Was that how he got his English name?

Last week, he was asking me about blogging and I referred some famous blog sites, such as kennysia.com and Patrick Teoh. Now, he has a blog site dedicated to him. It is very sweet of Kwek to start this blog as a tribute to his good friend. Thanks Kwek.

Tian Leng taught us all a few lessons. First, his departure is a lesson to us all that life is short, unpredictable, and definitely, not within our control no matter how fit, strong and healthy a person is. He told me he wanted to accompany me for my business trip to Sabah in January because he wanted to climb Mount Kinabalu with his Sabahan friends. We were planning for a family trip to Macau. Bought the tickets already. It is actually a family trip after many years and he was looking forward to it, researching about Macau’s attractions online. We were also planning for June June’s sweet 16 birthday this coming 27 December. He was also looking forward to completing his degree overseas, telling my mom that he might switch to Australia instead of Switzerland because that can help save some money. He admired Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong. Told me that one of his dreams is to set up his own hotel one day, some day. Just last week, while we were on our way back from KL, he told me that maybe being a politician sounds fun. “Talk bullshit and earn millions.”

See, we can plan as much as we want in life. But the moment you take life for granted, everything that you plan for becomes meaningless.

Tian Leng also showed us that life was meant to be lived to the fullest. He was never into winning medals or prizes or being the best, but whatever he did, he did it out of love and passion for it. He followed his heart and lived a meaningful life, and one that we can all be proud of.
He also showed us that it is the imperfections of a person that makes him beautiful. He was someone who had many talents but never realise it. He gave in to temptations but was always aware of his mistakes, and openly admitted it when asked. He was always insecure about himself. His palms would get all sweaty if pretty girls spoke to him. Yet, his friends are so multi-racial and ranging from students more junior than him to seniors more senior than me, and uncles more senior than our dad. He was never the loud, live of a party kind of person but he lighted up the life of people around him with his silly jokes and goofy character. I keep thinking that the one person we need now in this situation is Tian Leng to just say something that is totally out of this world and crack us up.

For someone so physically strong, he had many fears too. He was afraid of ghosts. He was afraid of cockroaches. There was once I asked him to help me kill a cockroach in my room. The roach flew up and he ran out of the room swearing, then asked me to handle it myself coz he can’t handle flying roaches. He was afraid of being alone. So he constantly surrounded himself with friends. The only time you’d find him alone was… his ‘shitting’ time. He was afraid of heights. Life has many ironies and it is ironic that it was a fall from height that took his life.

He never saw himself as a sociable person. Yet, I look at all of his friends who turned up at the funeral and I would just like to say to him that he is the best PR guy I have ever known. He was a people person. He got along well with everyone. He was always real. He was not pretentious. What you see if what you get, unless of course, if he was trying to play a trick on you. He was good at that. Few weeks back, Tian Leng was telling me about how people only get famous after they die when he was relating the story about Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong’s funeral procession and about how much Genting staff and students were paid to attend his funeral. Tian Leng, at 21 years old, with no money or possessions, armed only with his humour, humbleness and good nature, is blessed with sincere friends and family, and in my personal opinion, Tian Leng, if you lived till 89 like Tan Sri, you would be more famous than him.

I would like to end with an sms message which Tian Leng sent to me some time back. In his message, which was sent out-of-the-blue, he said “Eventhough I don’t know how to express my feelings, I don’t show love to you all but deep down in my heart, I do love you all a lot! I know I don’t show care and concern about you all but deep down inside I do. It’s because we are brought up in a way that we keep everything in our heart. It’s like a saying empty vessels make the most noise because they don’t think before they talk. I’m quiet because I use that time to think. If you have any problems in life just give me a buzz. I will help you as much as I can. I am willing to sacrifice my life just for you all. You may think that I am dumb and naïve and narrow-minded but its’ this type of people that can be trusted. That can be counted on when you need them.”

We love you very much and we will miss you dearly. Rest in peace, our beloved son, brother and friend.

Love, Hsieh May

Partying with Angels

2007-12-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

Try not to drive all those heavenly creatures and God crazy wit ur crazy stuff...bt i knw..ur making heaven a way more livelier place at dis moment...btw..dun use heavenly super glue to play a trick on God...i dun think those angels r gonna let u get away wit it..plus u need ur partners in crime 2 carry out de perfect plan..although i really do think u can do it by urself...dun go clippin wings or sewing hems tgtr..n pls..if there r such things as balconies in heaven, make sure de doors r close b4 u decide to go 'bare' dancing..hahahaaha...always tian leng..u wil be remembered...always...wit lots n lots of love...de memories u left behind r priceless..

-Caroline-

Memories and Thoughts that Keep You Alive.

2007-12-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

those memories still seem so fresh, and i can almost remember the ups and down in our relationship. so visible, yet invisible now. i wish i could write them all, but just the thoughts of you in my every imagination keeps me smiling. i remember how you waited for my call all night long, just for an answer.
Jack: hey, how la?can you be my gf?
Me: dunnola. call me tomro morning then you'll know la.
Jack: really ah? okok. i will call you k.

And true enough, you waited. and yes, i felt so much like your princess when you would suprise me with those lilies, the beautifully made coffee fragrance card, the well written valentine's card and the ever fav soft toy, patrick. never in my wildest dream could i imagine looking at those gifts with teary eyes everyday since you left. ......

i miss those random talks we had when we became friends after the breakup. how you would call me "kepo" when i asked of your new sweetheart. but always questioned me bout my life instead. like wai seng would call you, CNN Reporter. i was pretty suprised when hsieh may mentioned of your fear of darkness and ghosts for you have never mentioned those to me. now i think i know why. and so does kwek koko. hehe. that reminds me so much of our meet ups. scary but worth the try. i wouldnt trade that for anything.

those beautiful and wonderful time we had...... how i wish i could walk in the beach with you again, and to hang on the phone for endless hours. and the one thing i wish to say, is to apologise for what i've done you wrong. but those words are left unanswered. you are far gone now. thank you for the memories. they keep you alive, jack. always will be remembered.

With love, Hazel.

Free into The Ocean

2007-12-06T01:48:00.000-08:00

i feel very happy 2day..cuz my family,relatives n close frens of tian leng went to set his ashes free into the sea.it was kinda funny along the way n we joked tat tian leng is lukin down upon us,havin a gud laugh at us.haha..

we're preety sure tis is wat he wans since he wishes to travel the world sumday..wel now he can..4 free summore ler!

the ocean is like a part of his life..he luves the sea..he luves the waters..may the waters bring him to whereva he may go..
now he can b wit his frens whu aint here in malaysia..he'l b all over the world in evry corner of the earth..

i noe the place whr he's goin he'l b hpy..no worries n i'm sure he'l b crackin his usual jokes to all the angels around the world n tellin him bout his loving family,sohai frens,n all his stupid jokes n tings tat he had done..

although we cant hear his macho voice,stupid jokes n his cackling laughter but we will remember it always..

i would like to share a sms tat he sent to my sister some time ago.

-even though i don know how to express my feelings i don show love to you all but deep down inside my heart i do love you all alot! i know i dont show care and concern bout u all but deep down inside i do..its because we are brought up in a way that we keep everything in our heart its like saying empty vessels make the most noise because they don think b4 dey talk.i'm quiet because i use that time to think.if you have any problem in life just give me a buzz..i will help you as much as i can...i am willing to sacrifice my life just for you all...you may think i am dumb and naive..narrow minded..but its this type of ppl tat can be trusted..tat can br counted on when you need them.

-with love,tian leng-

khoo tian leng,u hav been a fantastic person.we're very pround 2 hv u in our lives.u will owys b remembered in our hearts,soul n mind forever.
we love you forever!! Muackz!!

Your sister, June June

A Man with Dreams

2007-12-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Jack is not an average Joe.. let me share with you his dreams..

To be honest, I've had countless heart to heart talk with Jack for my whole life.. We'll just grab a few beers and some peanuts and we'll talk till morning. By the beach, that's where we spill everything.

Jack is a family person. He loves every member of his family to bits and used to tell me how much his mum loves him and how he hopes to repay her in the future. He knows it, although he doesn't really show it, but he always tells me how much he loves his mum. The person he admires most I know it's her sister, Hsieh May. He told me how he saw his sister develop herself into someone so successful and he is VERY proud of her. He used to tell me ... "saw that nigga, my sister got us to the jacky cheung concert! For thatttttt, we have to drink to celebrate". He looks up to you alot Hsieh May.

I remember him telling me how he was caught ehem watching xrated movies by his dad hahahaha and how he was in cemas mode. :) that was those funny moments. To me, he's very very respectful to his dad.. He used to tell me how he enjoys talking to his dad and how he stole his dad's salem and beers. And he shares the beers with me most of the time. I remember clearly how he said that he'll do his best to help out at the store and how his parents are working so hard to give him education.. he said he really admires uncle n aunty because they are always working hard to keep the store running.. He's grateful that everything that has been provided for him and he gets to live a comfortable life.

As for Jun Jun, he loves you the most. Remember the other day I told you the stories bout him telling me bout you? He is always worried bout you and he always tell me "eh i suspect jun jun got bf wei. how ahhh foul rite.?!" ah the great times:>

I always enjoy driving to and back from subang with Tian Leng. He's my official co-pilot. Whenever I drive back, he's there, most of the time. And we'll listen our favorite song, talk cock, sing ... talk bout life and all. I remember how he always brings back bags of groceries and always say 'eh take la, my mother give u wan." and I'll always end up with heaps of groceries:> what i'm trying to say is, Jack always puts his friends above himself. All the time. All the time.

I remember clearly as if it was yday... the day I hit my car against the divider.. he was the first to be there to help me out.. he stayed throughout the day and didnt even complaint of boredom because we were there at the station for ages. I remember how he always borrows money to his friends who were in need of help, while he himself only had barely enough.

Jack is always the peacemaker as well. Always when theres a war between friends, he's always the middle man to solve all the problems. I remember wai seng having problems n all with some friends. HAHAHAHHAHAH but still he sticks with him thru thick and thin. I believe he's the most "yao yi hei" guy that I've ever met. Never ffk me b4.. always an honest guy with very well kept promises. I love him man. Seriously I love him. I remember telling nee, how I'll definitely fall for him if I'm a girl. haha but its true.

He is definitely a Leader and a great team player. Thats why I always believe that he will make it big one day. I remember him asking me, how to be successful and all.. he was reading books form Robert Koyosaki erm.. and I remember telling him"why are u even worried jack, ur already half there! "everybody knows it, he's gonna make it big one day. He has the three biggest quality. VERY Lovable, teamplayer, and a great leader. What more do you ask for from such a fantastic individual? I call him the networker. He's the one who connects people, just like what Nokia did, he connected ppl from all around him to become as ONE. The uniter. Without him, everything goes haywire. I maybe older than him, but I certainly look up to him as my tai lou, my big bro. Don't think he's only made out of playfulness, whenever i needed advise, he's always giving me shockingly logical and mature advises. Words that only can uttered through a sincere heart, sincere individual who's there really to help you. Nothing else.

I'll continue the next part soon.. good night peeps, talk to u soon jack.

Kwek

Testi #21

2007-12-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

Rest in peace bro, you will always be in our memories.

--
Regards,
Christi Toa
ctoa@cse.unl.edu

once a BC always a BC!

2007-12-05T05:42:00.000-08:00

Dats the moto for our group n 1 of them who came up with the moto is our very own kukulengleng.

His last words to me when we met bout 2 weeks ago was "wei nigga i'm gonna open my restaurant when i finish next year n i wan u to become my exec chef".

I guess dat wont be happening anytime...he was the most hilarious n the most sohai n the most annoying 1 in the BC...but without him the BC is never complete..i guess this is just life god loves u more den we do...u will always b in our hearts....we love u very much bro n we will miss u very much....till we meet again..dun b a stranger nigga...

Travis

Best Friends and a Bro

2007-12-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

Thx nigga for all those nice memories.. alwiz have been a big brother to me.. rest in peace.. Don worry , i will surely meet u someday when my time comes.. till than .. Keep tat J for me ya ... Miss u .. luv ya..

Prakash Robin

Brown Man

2007-12-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

Will always cherish all the unpredictable adventures that we had nig...thanx for always beeing there.u will always be remembered for the humorous and simple person u r, always trying to get and keep all old friends together...always remember what u said nigga chill and dont trip:)'peace n eternal happiness be with u...always luv ya bro...

Galvin, pigeon, brown brother

Testi #20

2007-12-05T05:03:00.000-08:00

Although I met him only a couple of times, when he worked with us at the Cathay Pacific office for a couple of days and the various concerts we attended, he surely did leave a lasting impression of guy with who had really good nature, was really cool, knew how to have fun and most importantly, one that loved his sister dearly. Condolences from me and hubby.

Sharon and Jason (Australia)

Just Feel Like Walking with U Again

2007-12-05T01:58:00.001-08:00

Nigga..remember or not sometimes when we were walking together..i would lay my arms on your shoulder...playing with your nipple with my fingers. then u always get horny when i do that.

Why la why la mus u go and jus leave. u know how it feels every time i read that? i sent u a song man. that's our song..

Bala.

My Darling Lengchai

2007-12-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

"hey darling. what u doing ah? got miss me anot? liverpool won again today oh..damn keng hoh? hoh?? hoh???"

Those gay sms u sent me? Remember?

Testi #19

2007-12-04T13:52:00.001-08:00

You will be remembered, my dear friend Khoo Tian Leng.

Siok Yin (Rachel) Tan

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." Michael Jordan

Our Song

2007-12-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

this is our song man...

Blup blup blup

2007-12-04T13:19:00.000-08:00

someone called me in the middle of the night last night and woke me up from my sleep.it reminded me of what you used to do last time when you were bored.i remember one time in dales house,when i just started hanging out with the gang,you called me at about midnight.i was talking to dale when you called me.i saw your name and i was mumbling to myself what is it that you wanted at this time.dale noticed and warned me.

"is it khoo?dont pick up.im serious.dont pick up."

"why shouldnt i pick up?it could be an emergency."

"its not an emergency.trust me.i know khoo."

i ignored his warning and picked up the second time you called me.i said hello and the only thing you said was... "Blup blup blup" then you hung up your phone.

"what the f*ck??"

"why?what did he say?"

"nothing..just 'blup blup blup'"

"told you not to pick up.now he's gonna annoy you for as long as you live"

true enough.for as long as ive known you.i always get that call in the middle of the night and all i hear is just "blup blup blup".i remember getting so pissed at you playing around like that and telling you that i wont pick up next time you call when im sleeping,even though it might be an emergency.you just laughed your usual laugh,the kind of laugh that would make people who see you laugh along.haha.i guess i wont be getting that call anytime soon.it wasnt just me,you did that to everyone of your friends.everyone of us will miss those midnight prank calls.

Faisal